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How to get closure?

Okay, so my dad and stepmom got together and married very quickly when I was in middle school. She had a son the same age as me. Tough time to be around someone the same age and opposite sex. At first, nothing ever happened, but we seemed to always be flirting with the line of appropriate/inappropriate for newly-made sister/brother relationship.
Eventually, we ended up making out and dry-humping when we were at our parents' house (we both lived with our opposite parent as our married together parents).
So now, it's like 10 years past that, our parents are still married, I'm married and have two kids, and I still can't get him out of my mind he's a ghost from my past that just keeps haunting me. I think because we never had a real relationship and had no closure to it, that that's why I haven't let it go. And not to mention, my marriage is not always sunshine and roses...
Should I talk to him about it?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Dec. 1, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • NOOOoooo! Find closure without getting in touch with him. Write him a letter then burn it!

    Answer by Vero0724 at 2:17 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Should I talk to him about it?
    Him who? Your husband?


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • I ran out of room to write, but I meant him as in my stepbrother. We still see each other a couple times a year, and dont ever act funny around each other or anything. I think if my marriage was stronger, this wouldn't bother me so much.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • think it may just be embarrassment or something. Lots of kids experiment...teens do crazy stuff. I think if I were in that situation i would always wonder if he remembers it, did he really like me, is he embarrassed...blah blah just lots of I wonder...

    Didnt sound like you really have feelings for him in a relationship kind of way, just seems like an akward moment hanging out there. If you want to clear the air you could always make a joke to just get it out in the open..privately of course. you culd jus tsay something like "My dad woulda kicked your ass if he knew I kissed you when I was ___ yrs old. Laugh it off like it doesnt bother you. Sometimes when something is a secret it goes around in your head sommany times it becomes something big.

    Answer by ria7 at 4:10 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Say nothing and forget about closure-----it doesn't really exist. Treat like a good memory from the past and leave it at that.

    Answer by JustAMom2008 at 4:23 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do NOT talk about it. That's how a lot of affairs start, by talking about it. You confess your feelings, he confesses his, you have a rocky marriage, then you find out he does too, next thing you know you are both rolling around on the floor naked wondering how in the heck it happen. I speak from experience, in case you were wondering. You are thinking about your SB because you are unhappy in your relationship with your husband. Counselling would be great, for you individually and then for you and your husbad together. Repair your relationship with your husband and these thoughts will disappear back into the past where they should stay.

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 5:33 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

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