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grandparent visitation?

ok so my son sees his paternal grandparents and great grandparents every sunday for two hours which i also attend. these are the hours they demanded. now they are demanding more time and also alone time. they also said "well you better get used to it" when i told them i didnt feel comfortable with that but are welcome to come to my house to visit whenever as long as they give me a heads up call. i dont trust them alone for many reasons such as leaving pool door open and used to abuse my sons father as a kid and i personally think once a week is plenty of time. my son hasnt even seen his maternal great grandparents at all. oh ya my son is 18 months if that helps. what do you think? am i unreasonable? or are they out of line?

 
Jnc91

Asked by Jnc91 at 2:38 PM on Dec. 1, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 8 (211 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Hell no, you are the mother if you don't feel comfortable leaving your child under their care, don't do it. Your duty is to protect your child and in my experience a mother's instinct is very accurate. If they are demanding instead of asking it is a bad precedent. You can ask them all you want to close the door pool but they don't seem the kind that will listen. They will do as they please because they show no respect for you as the mother by "demanding" and saying "get used to it"

    It is your child and what you say goes. Do not allow them to dictate your comfort level to keep peace with the family. Based in their history I wouldn't trust them alone with my child either. Some grandparents have a false sense of entitlement. Give them a reality check, they are the ones that need to get used to this: This is your child and what you say goes. How do they like them apples?
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 2:49 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Oh for goodness sakes, that's just silly. Take a break. Drop the child off and come back in a couple of hours. They are not going to hurt the child in 2 hours time. I wouldn't want my son's x dropping by and staying while I visited with my grandkids. Just tell them to shut the pool door.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:42 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • when pple come off rude to other pple like they did to you, things cant always go THIER way. they are out of line thinking they are gonna take control of your life and tell you "better get used to it"...you better keep your head up.

    my friend who used to do visits with her real daughter that she put up for adoption...now they are making up excuses for her not to see her anymore or have any contact with my friend...so dont let them have too much control
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 2:46 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • op here. i do they tell them to shut the door and they say "well he wont learn until he gets hurt now will he?" and i dont force my way in, my ex invites me to come.
    Jnc91

    Answer by Jnc91 at 2:46 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • I would not leave him with them only because you said they abused your sons father. Hell to the no. You are the parent, stick to your guns.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • You have the right to keep your child safe from harm in whatever manner you choose. Please disregard the crap spewed from admackenzie.

    It is your child and you make the rules. The grandparent's can either live with your visitation limits or they can not see him at all. You are the parent and you call the shots. As the parent you are responsible for your child's health and welfare and obviously you have made your decision in the interest of such.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • wow admckenzie would prolly do it...what if her child drowned and she got "the call"?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:06 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • It sounds like you are being very generous with them and they are taking it for granted. And it's only going to get worse. They obviously do not respect you or your relationship with your child. I don;t think you are under any obligation to give them any visitation time. That is your ex's responsibility. If they want time with the child they need to do that when it's your ex's time to have the child.
    Do whatever you feel you need to do to protect yourself and your child. These people sound poisonous.
    Keep your distance.
    Do NOT feel guilty.
    iamadad000

    Answer by iamadad000 at 3:34 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • yup I agree with everyone else don't do it 2 hours every week is PLENTY!!! You gotta stay strong as frustrating as it may be for the safety of your son. Good luck and don't let them talk you into it!
    Heidikans

    Answer by Heidikans at 3:37 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Op here thank you for all your answers. I'm worried they'll fight for custody... My ex lives with them and I bring ds over there on Wednesday and Friday for him and Sunday for all his family. I don't leave ds with him either, his family is bad influence. All of this is unofficial though, never went court
    Jnc91

    Answer by Jnc91 at 4:22 PM on Dec. 1, 2009