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how can i correct them without upsetting them?

My family wasn't happy when I concieved dd. Infact she 3 months old and they have just started acknoweldging her. My mothers exact words last time she was here were "well I should probably look at her." When asked if she wanted to hold her my mother responded "no. I don't want to form an attatchment." But if they ever get her anything (and they only do that out of guilt for buying ds things) they always spell her name wrong. It gets irritating even though its only one letter. What can I do to correct them without being rude or seeming pushy?

Answer Question
 
mom06and09

Asked by mom06and09 at 7:25 PM on Dec. 1, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Just say "Her name is spelled.." and spell out her name. Don't say it in a snotty tone, or disgusted tone, just causally. If they have a problem with it just reply "I have her name spelled that way and I would like it to be spelled that way." Leave it at that.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:44 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • personally I would cut my extended family out of my life until they decided they were ready to accept my child with open arms and hearts. Your baby did nothing wrong, she deserves love. Not a complex from not being accepted.
    Lynette

    Answer by Lynette at 7:58 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Wow. Just wow. I'm so sorry.

    Yeah, tell them. Write them a thank you note from her, and sign it with her name spelled correctly. They are being awful.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 7:58 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Wow. Why in the world are they so mean? I'd stop seeing them. But I know that's hard to do.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 8:05 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • I agree with Lynette.
    DawnA72

    Answer by DawnA72 at 8:08 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Why would she not want to"form an attachment" to her granddaughter??? Is there something you are not telling us? That is so strange!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:13 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • WHY on God's green earth are you worried about upsetting THEM?

    I would cut them out of my life entirely with that knd of behavior. You don't need this kind of family. In fact, they are NOT family at all...they're just a bunch of people you happen to know and should get to know a lot LESS.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:15 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • I agree with gdiamante and Lynette. Stop wasting your time on these people.
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 9:30 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Wow why are they so rejecting of your daughter?? Was it unplanned or out of wedlock and they are extremely religious??

    My pregnancy was totally unplanned (I was on birth control) and I wasn't married but we're loving people so my entire family and practically the entire town has been supportive of my new family. We had a huge baby shower and even a 94 year old extremely religious woman attended and brought gifts and love.

    People should NEVER reject a baby. Even if that baby was born in less than ideal circumstances.. Babies are to be treasured and loved.

    Anyone who would think anything else deserves not a second thought, IMO.

    And why are you so worried about offending them.. Do you live with them? Do they provide financially for you?

    Even if they do, this sounds almost abusive to me. I'd go to a woman's shelter before I'd live with anyone who wanted to harm my baby with their hatred and rejection.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:11 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • well they are trying to annoy you and punish you for doing something wrong. my advice is to ignore them when they spell her name wrong or make rude comments. don't go out of your way to make contact with them or ask them to do things for your family, but if they offer you can accept. getting mad or cutting off contact will only make them worse imo. just play it cool and they will come around i think (i have killed many people with kindness..... it works. but don't put yourself in a position to get hurt or let the kids get hurt). gl with the whole situation
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 10:44 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

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