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Do I look pass it??

My daughter likes to cutt herself when ever she gets upset. She says it helps her. She has terrible anger issues not that she is violent she much rather hurt herself than others. She doesn't like to talk to me when she is upset she perfers to talk to her peers not that that is uncommon. She likes to dress sexy like most girls her age but she is a Virgin and is very proud of it. Im just scared that her appearance will draw the wrong kind of attention to her.

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Asked by MissPatience at 9:57 PM on Dec. 1, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (20)
  • Get her some professional help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Cutting herself sounds very serious. Im not trying to scare you but thats what some teens even adults do to commit suicide. Only you know if your daughters behavior is close to that but I would definitly not pass it up. Talk to her one on one about this, its is serious. I understand she may like to talk to her peers but you need to assure her she can trust and confide in you too.

    Answer by LouiesLady at 10:04 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • well about the cutting thing .. did you hear about just recently the 15 yr old girl who cut herself, and was depressed & angry etc. and she ended up killing a 9 yr old just to see what it felt like. but its just too bad nobody paid enough attention to the things she was doing & got her help. so i would recommend you do that. im not saying ur daughter is going to kill someone or anything lol i went threw a phase kind of like that too and i grew out of it. but maybe you should just get her a counseler or something. i dont think its a big deal that she dresses a little sexy though. as long as its not too crazy.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 10:11 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • I don't know about the way she's dressing...but about the cutting- it is usually depression- cutting makes her feel better, it's how she copes with things. My daughter AND I both have been cutters - lucky for me-I got past it on my own eventually, but my daughter had more worse issues to deal with and we got her a really good therapist. It has helped her SO much. It will take time- and the best thing is to get her someone whe likes and trusts, and don't give her a hard time about cutting. Let her know youa re there for her and you love her
    good luck with this. just DO NOT IGNORE IT :)

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:50 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • You're worried about the way she dresses over her cutting? She needs to speak to a therapist about her anger issues. Cutting is serious and can be very deadly if she takes it too far. Her style isn't at all an issue over cutting. It doesn't matter if it "Helps Her", there are other ways to deal with anger and sadness. Healthier ways.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:17 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • SHE'S CUTTING HERSELF AND YOUR ASKING WHAT? LET ME ASK YOU WHY HAVEN'T YOU GOT HER ANY HELP? it is so obviuos she has a problem and perhaps professional help would be benefical to the both of you. i pray you get your daughter some help, there has to be something going on she's cutting herself, dressing sexy? get her some help. take a break from the computer and get your child some help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • when i was 14 I started cutting myself ------ I am SOOOOO glad my parents got me help....I never did it again and my life has been wonderful, I cant imagine how I would have turned out ( or wouldnt have turned out, if I cut too deep) if they didnt.

    ALSO.....did you know it is illegal to do harm to yourself ???

    Answer by glamomomo at 1:45 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Oh Mama, get her some help. It doesn't matter how she dresses.

    Answer by pnwmom at 2:31 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Im going to answer this as a mother of a 15 yr old daughter and an 11 1/2 yr old daughter. Girl drama, depression, identity crisis, boy issues, self esteem, ect are not new to me and I have been dealing with them for sometime. Im not perfect but we have managed to get through some of these issues, so as a fellow mom without judgment, I am going to tell you that the cutting is NOT something you look past. This is self destructive behavior and you love her too much to let her hate herself that much. In reality, cutting is an act of self hate. Everyone has to deal with negative emotion in some way. EVERYONE. So having said that, she needs to find a way to relieve negative emotions such as sadness, disappointment, depression in another way. Cutting is also an addictive behavior and if she were using something such as drugs or alcohol to relieve negative emotion, then you would see that as addictive. This is no different.

    Answer by momofsaee4 at 5:24 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I would calmly suggest that you and her go about finding someone to refer you to a therapist or counselor to have her talk about whats going on in her head. Not wanting to talk to her mom is VERY normal and youre right about that, so find her a neutral party to help her sort out her emotions. Im doing this for my 8 yr old son who really needs someone to talk to other than me and his dad. Its not taboo at all and make it positive thing. As far as how she dresses....while its not as big of an issue as cutting, it is a way of her trying to seek attention from others. Youre still the mom and if you dont approve of what she is wearing, then have her change her clothes. No arguing. This is an area that can be negotiated, but in our home, we dress trendy, but modestly. butts, boobs or bellies...LOL. Sounds like you care a lot about this child and love her enough to ask for help. Good luck to you!

    Answer by momofsaee4 at 5:28 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

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