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Normal 3.5yr old boy behavior?

-Should I worry if a 3.5yr old isnt talking clearly yet, he does talk but doesnt have 1/2 the vocab of a 3yr old?
-He throws ALOT. No matter how much he gets into trouble!!
-Very active!
-If I put him in the corner (i tell him your going to the corner because).. when he gets out he is just blank & cant tell me why he went into the corner (i always ask). --My dd same age answers this question for herself & will even answer it for him.
-He is not potty trained.
-He trips over everything constantly.
-he cannot put clothes on (shoes, pants, socks or shoes) by himself.
-If ask his name he replies w/1st name (even if i ask him his last name)
-If ask his age he replies w/ 1st name..........
I only have girls so i dont know if alot of his behavior is normal for boys or what!
My dd is almost 1yr younger but seems like the older one.
Any advice!??


Asked by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Dec. 1, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I have a friend with a boy that I used to watch @ that age who was EXACTLY like that, smart as a whip (he knew his entire abc's, all of his colors @ 11mos old!), dumb as a doorknob (didn't know the difference between a fork and spoon or his own name) and a bull in a china shop (couldn't make it across the room without running into something). I suspected he was autistic. He's about 10 now, great in school, still horribly uncoordinated. His mother told me recently that he was diagnosed with a neurological disorder and was seeing a neurologist.

    Answer by ShelleyB64 at 1:10 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • He should be evaluated for developmental delays. If this would have been done before he was 3 he would have qualified for free speech, occupational, and physical therapy under a government program. I don't know what's available since he is older. You should talk to your doctor.

    Answer by Gailll at 10:05 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Yes, you need to have your son screen for autism spectrum disorders asap. A lot of what you described are red flags. It isn't normal, bring it up to your pediatrician's attention and insist (demand) a screening by a developmental pediatrician. Have him evaluated by an Occupational Therapist (OT) for the fine motor and gross skills delays you are describing. Also, have a speech pathologist (SP) evaluate him. Do it yesterday because early intervention is the key before you have behavioral problems, social skill problems from the the speech delay.

    Also, bring to the pediatrician's attention sensory issues. E-mail me for more details and Google Autism, PPD-NOS, SID, CAP and you will find some answers to your concerns. A mother's instinct can't be ignored, if your gut instinct is telling you that something is off, it probably is. Figure out what it is and do it now your son will benefit from your productiveness.

    Answer by bebita at 10:10 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • he isnt my son :( that is why this is so hard...

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • Okay so what is your relationship to the child? What difference does it make? The child needs help regardless. And your gut instinct is correct, you described a lot of red flags that justify a screening. Bring it up to the parents attention.

    Answer by bebita at 10:23 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • It sounds like he might have some developmental delays. You should get him evaluated by a specialist.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:00 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • He is a friends child I watch alot.

    Just to put a few "other" things out there to put a light on the other side:

    -He can count to 20 -He knows his ABC's (visually, not just singing)

    -He knows the sounds of all his letters (A says Ah)..

    . But I guess this isnt his INTELLEGIENCE thats at question here! huh?

    I really do not know how to even THINK about talking to my friend about this! He has been seen by a Dr. for his clumsy-ness. :-(


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Dec. 1, 2009

  • In a phrase, no it is not normal. He should be checked out, but there isn't much YOU can do about it since it's not your kid. If she is a true friend, she'll accept you talking about it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:56 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Well, it does sound like he has some delays in a few areas. Not ALL of that behavior is completely abnormal. My son wont even say his first name when asked. If he sees it written down, he will say, hey thats my name, but he rarely says it. He doesnt dress himself, but he does try. He usually needs help. My 3 1/2 yr old son does have a moderate speech delay but its generally in his articulation and consonant sounds, nothing really developmental. Also please consider parenting styles. WHile he might have some issues that could be addresssed by his parents, sometimes as parents, we contribute to our kids being lazy or not doing things for themselves. I say that because I am so guilty. With my 3 yr old, he is my 4th child and my last so I tend to baby him a bit. Ive never made him dress himself because I enjoy doing it for now. Maybe this child just needs some motivation by parents AND some help in the developmental areas. GL!!!

    Answer by momofsaee4 at 6:28 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • If I have a friend that brought up to my attention some delays she sees in my child, I would appreciate she bringing it up but not by comparing her child to mine. I think I would tell her somethinglike this.

    You know _____ while I watch _____, I've noticed a speech delay, have you consider having a speech pathologist evaluating him? I also think that an Occupational therapist could be able to assist you with strategies to help his gross and fine motor skills. I would love to help him while he is under my care I simply don't know how.

    I suggest you buy the a book for sensory integration disorders like The Out of Sync Child by Carol Stock. Read it, then give it to her if you feel it applies to this child. If she is your friend she will truly appreciate the effort and your sincere concern.

    You know if your gut instinct is right this child needs help and with an early intervention he could make huge improvements.

    Answer by bebita at 7:59 AM on Dec. 2, 2009