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advice relationship.

My Bf and I have been having problems, and we figures out wha the main problem was...we werent paying enough time and attention to eachother it was all going to new (7mo) baby. Ok the problem is.....he really doeant TRY. His idea of trying is a few hours? I think it takes LOTS AND LOTS IF TIME. If things arent perfect in a few hours he goes right bag to how he was being in the first place. ANyways, thats exactly what happened last night and he broke up with me. He said that he "doesnt know if makeing you (me) happy it will in turn make him happy" Im heart broken. He isnt happy. Should I keep trying or move on?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 AM on Dec. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Sorry for the typos its really early, we are out of coffe, there is 3 inches of new snow on the ground and I obviously didnt sleep too well!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • there are a lot of factors you have to ask yourself., ie is it worth trying to save your relationship? are you just doing it because of the baby? having a baby puts alot of extra stress and some young men after having such resposiblity trow onto them no matter how reayd they claim they are,really are not and look for any excuse to get out. give it some time to cool down and talk to him. and if you guys can be adults and decide that being together isnt what you both need right now.then so be it. if it is try couciling or working on things. ie going on dates and what not! hell even me and my husband need some us time. we go on dates find a sitter or go to a hotel room for a few hrs just to get away. and its not just about having great sex we can have that at home. sometimes its just about getting away from all the mommy daddy crap. most of the time we just nap! lol. dont worry hun. and if you need someone to talk im here

    Answer by sandraberke at 10:18 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I wouldn't make a decision right now. Odds are he will be back and all will be well so don't stress too much for now. Just take this as a wee vacation so enjoy your alone time with the baby.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:19 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I think if you are in a relationship, making the other person happy should make you happy, and b/c you make them happy, they should make you happy, which should make them happy, therefore everyone is making everyone else happy and as a result, making themselves happy. If he said what he said, then I'd say he's just not happy and doesn't really want to be there. I think it's best to just let him go, at least until/unless he comes to realize that you make him happy, or that by making you happy he will be happy. I know it's hard but chasing after him isn't going to make things any better. Besides, you have to look at it this way: wouldn't you rather be with someone who truly loves you and wants to make you happy rather than someone who is just with you b/c he feels like he has to be, even though he is miserable? Good luck, sweetie!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 10:22 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Is this your first child together? If so it's normal to argue after a baby! Me and my husband have been together since 1998 and after our daughter the first year was a lot of arguing. (not in front of her). She is 19 months and we still have our days. Just let him be for a bit. He will come around. Dont keep calling him. Just give it time.

    Answer by MLM0503 at 10:24 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

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