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what would you do?

I have a friend who's been married for 15 yrs. to a guy who treats her like crap! he's always cutting her down,comparing her to other women ect...he don't hit her but he emotionally beats her down..She's to the point she's so depressed it's making her sick she can't smile or talk about anything anymore they have 3 kids together and her husband brings the kids into the whole thing . I listen to her and I am her friend but Idk how on earth to help her anymore I don't want to be the culprit of her leaving him so I don't suggest that how do I help her? I know she wants advice but like I said I don't even know how to do that w/o bringing myself into it...I don't want her to get any sicker so my question is how do you go about helping her?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Dec. 2, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (4)
  • I would tell her that I honestly don't think that after this long there is nothing she can do to change it, and that I want to make sure she knows that she'll always have my love and support when she finally decides she's had enough.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Just listen to her. With 3 kids, she may feel stuck. When they are grown, maybe she will leave. Until then, there's not much you can do, just listen.

    Answer by Pnukey at 12:47 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Seriously, the best thing you can do for her right now is encourage her to leave. There isn't any way to better the situation after this long of his emotional and verbal abuse. She needs to remove herself and her children from the situation and get herself some proffessional help. She is going to suffocate in that situation and one day she might get to the point where she ends it all. She needs to get out of the situation now before it's too late.

    Listen to her, just let her talk, let her cry, let her know you're there for her. Honestly though, just encourage her to get out. It is truely the best thing for her, and she'll really appriciate you for it by helping her get out.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:23 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • My SIL had the same problem. She's married to my brother. Once he yelled at me "How dare you tell my wife to leave me?!" I told him, "I love my brother, I hate her husband" Once my hubby got into a physical fight defending HER against him, she left with him! After that, I told her, "I don't want to hear anymore about him. I love you both, but after a while you stop being a victim and you start being a willing participant." It's your friend's choice how she lives. Once you offer her your support, let it go. She chooses to stay and allow herself to be treated that way. Tell her the truth if you don't want to hear any more of the drama. If you're concerned for her safety or her children's safety, contact her family or social services. You can be anonymous. Best of luck.

    Answer by Aneya at 1:35 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

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