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Do you think we can move on???

We'll my hubby and I have been having problems which stem from him being unfaithful. For the past three days he was willing to give us up for the other women & her children, but then he made the decision to try to work things out with us... Do you think that we can get through this? He says that he loves her too...I think it was the thrill of having two women in his life.. I don't know but, can this work.. Please I need some kind of support!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:50 AM on Dec. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • It can work if you can live with sharing your dh.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:55 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Thats not funny...No one here thinks it can work???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Chances are he will go back to the other woman. If he says he loves her, then he probably plans on seeing her again. I know it must be terribly hard for you. But I think admckenzie is right, the only way that it will work is if you can share DH with her and we all know that you are not comfortable with that. I wish you all the luck in the world but maybe you should start thinking of your marriage in terms of past tense. Because it sounds like he has given his heart to someone else.
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 12:11 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I'm sure in some cases, people can move on... But this guy says he LOVES that other woman! So no, I don't think he's going to give her up, probably just start seeing her on the sly. Then again, I firmly believe once a cheater, always a cheater, so the minute I found out my guy was cheating on me, he'd be out the door... Good luck.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 12:12 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Some people can share. It may be better than divorce. It is something to consider. In lots of societies men have more than one wife. Of course I don't mean he should marry her.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 12:19 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • It will only work out if BOTH of you are commited to making it work. Personally, I think if he loves this other women, then he doesn't love you. I don't believe you can IN LOVE with two people. One of them isn't really love, and it's either you or her. I think it's kind of chincy that he was willing to give his family up for another women, then three days later change his mind. What made him change his mind? If he was soo willing to give it all away, then he can't just suddenly not want to. Is it convience of already having you that he wants to keep? Is he looking for the easy way out? Is it the thought of hurting you further that he's staying. I think there's more behind it then he's leading on. I could be wrong, clearly I don't know the guy. However, I think that he's just taking the easy way out and trying to get off as guilt free as possible.

    It can only work if you're BOTH commited though.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:20 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Thanks ladies! I just don't know he says he love the both of us.. I know everything about her and she told me everything he said yesterday. But I truly just don't know. Ugh I hate this... Any of you think it's possible that he thinks he loves her just cause the thrill he had with having the both of us...? It's that possible? I guess at this point anything is possible
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I think only if you can live with the fact that he thinks he loves her. i am dealing with that too.. my husband says he doesnt love the other woman he just wanted to be happy and told her that he loved her.. i don't know the truth but i cannot share his heart with another woman.. if he said he loved her i would have to say goodbye. remember and affair is not a mistake it is planned interactions, sex ect. he knew what he was doing and did it cuz he wanted to. i am working on how to move on from that realization and belive that he actually realized what he had.. time will tell if it is true or not.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • depends on how long the relationship was.. years. could be love.. a month or two .. infatuation,,. the thrill of something knew..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • SWEETIE YOUR TRING TO FIGHT WHAT U ALREADY KNOW IS THE TRUTH. AND YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO YOU JUST DONT WANT TO FACE IT. I WENT THRU THE SAME.. AND I HAVE 3 KIDS. BUT I HAD TO WALK AWAY. THE LOVE FOR THE OTHER WOMAN WILL BE THERE AND HE WILL NOT STOP SEEING HER HE WILL JUST FIND A BETTER WAY TO SEE HER. PLEASE BE WISE. THE YEARS YOU WASTE YOU CANT GET BACK. I AM A 2 YEARS WITHOUT HIM AND ITS SO MUCH BETTER LESS STRESS NOT WORRING ABOUT IS HE TALKING TO HER, CALLING HER, SEEING HER WHILE IM AT WORK , CHURCH,ECT... JUST NOT WORTH IT.
    glamerous3059

    Answer by glamerous3059 at 3:46 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

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