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how do i get him to understand?

my husband does not listen when i tell him he should not be so critical of my 3 year old. he critisizes every thing she does wrong and almost never tells her shes doing a good job with anything. i have tried telling him that she will respond better if he doesnt critiseze so much and gives her a little praise now and then but he just doesnt. i dont understand first of all how a person can not ever tell a child they are doing well, and second how he will ever have a good relationship with her when all he does is critisize. what can i do to make their relationship better? he is her step dad and i think maybe he doesnt think he needs to have a good relationship with my kids. help!!!!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Dec. 2, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • my husband is like that too....just remind him...say things like
    "look daddy, look at the beautiful picture crista drew"......or "wow, look daddy, look how high she can swing by herself"....
    I think sometimes it's hard for men to give compliments and/or praise.
    Remember to compliment him when he's doing things too, even just on his end.....if the environment feels safe to give compliments to one another, then he might ease up and start doing so with everyone.
    My husband is not perfect, but he does offer them up more than he used to! Progress!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • WOW I HAVE BEEN WITH MY BOYFRIEND FOR 7 YRS. I HAVE 2 TEEN FROM MY X-HUSBAND, AND MY BOYFRIEND HAS A BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH MY 13 YR OLD DD, THEN WITH MY 15 YR OLD DS. I DON'T KNOW IF IT IS BECAUSE WHEN WE FIRST GOT TOGETHER MY DD WAS WITH ME ALL THE TIME, AND MY DS STAYED WITH MY MOM. MY KIDS BIO FATHER HASN'T BEEN INVOLVED FOR 8 YRS EXSEPT FOR WHEN HE WANTS TO SEE THEM ONCE A YR. I HAVE TRIED TELL MY BOYFRIEND THAT HE NEEDS TO STEP UP AND BE THAT FATHER FIGURE HE WANTS TO BE. MY KIDS DO CALL HIM DAD, AND HE TELLS EVERYONE THAT THEY ARE HIS KIDS, BUT HE WONT GO DO ANYTHING WITH MY SON. EVERYONE IN MY FAMILY HAS TOLD HIM THAT THEY HAVE NOTICED HIM BEING CLOSER TO MY DD THEN DS. ALL YOU CAN DO IS JUST KEEP TELLING HIM HE NEEDS TO STEP UP AND BE A GOOD STEP DAD. GL
    okc-mom-2

    Answer by okc-mom-2 at 12:31 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • ask him. when in doubt ask. ask him why.
    m4m4

    Answer by m4m4 at 12:50 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • My husband was like this also. When in private I started giving it back to him the same way he gave to the kids and explained the reason. Asked why should the kids like it at a younger age than him. When they don't understand and you do. Mean is all they see. After a few reminders he got better. Still sometimes he messes up.
    annthomas

    Answer by annthomas at 2:16 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

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