Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I NEED ADVISE ABOUT MY 15 SON HELP PLEASE!!

OK MY SON IS WAY OUT OF CONTROL. HE JUST GOT OFF PROBATION ON OCT. 14 THEN HE MOVED IN WITH MY MOM ON OCT. 30. HE WAS ONLY IN THAT TOWN FOR 26 HRS AND HE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR MINOR IN POSS. OF ALCOHOL. HE WENT TO COURT AND HAD TO TAKE A DRUG TEST, AND A DRUG AND ALCOHOL ASSESMENT. HE FAILED HIS DRUG TEST FOR WEED. SO I MADE HIM MOVE BACK UP HERE WITH ME, AND HE HAS ONLY BEEN HERE 3 DAYS AND EVERY NIGHT HE SNEAKS PEOPLE IN THROUGH HIS WINDOW. I FOUND A 19 YR OLD GIRL IN HIS ROOM YESTERDAY(NOT KNOWING SHE WAS 19) AND NOW SHE IS IN HIS ROOM ASLEEP WITH HIM. MY BOYFRIEND IS PISSED CAUSE THIS IS HIS HOUSE, BUT I DONT WANT TO SAY SOMETHING TO MAKE MY SON END UP RUNNING AWAY. WHAT DO I DO? PLEASE DON'T BASH. I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. ALSO, THIS GIRL THINKS HE IS 17. I'M GOING TO TELL HER TODAY HOW OLD HE REALLY IS.

Answer Question
 
okc-mom-2

Asked by okc-mom-2 at 12:22 PM on Dec. 2, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Yeah I'd tell her so she knows she can go to jail! Not sure what I can say to help with the son though
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:25 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • First off I would go in the room and tell her to get out! Then I would tell him if he wants there's a military school in Missouri that would love to have him! You have to show him you're the boss, and he can't get away with this. Give him chores, make copies from online of math work, make him do it. Make him write a 300 word essay on why he's doing the things he's doing. We have a 13 yr old, and he knows whose boss here, no questions. Oh and why isn't he in school???
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:29 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • When was the last time that you and your son had a real conversation? Sit down with him and ask him what his plans are for the future. Where does he see himself in five years? How do education and work fit into those plans? I hope that you are not giving him any money, car keys, etc.

    It seems like your son might be more than you can handle on your own. Ask your family doctor for a referral to an adolescent therapist.

    Good luck!
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:29 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Take him to a therapist then fill unruly charges don't talk but do it! Do everything you can do call  a social worker even the Judge can tell you what and where to. Get him some serious help before he goes to jail.

    myzero

    Answer by myzero at 12:34 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I would walk in the bedroom right now and wake her up. Tell her to get out before you call the police because he is only 15. Next you find a boot camp program. He is beyond controlling at home from the sounds of it. Next time he breaks the law, call the police yourself. I know people will basjh me but until they've been in the situation they need to keep their opinions to themselves. I DID have to call the police on my own son. It was close to the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Drugs and alcohol was involved, threatened domestic violence and stealing from us. Three weeks in juvinile hall woke my sons butt up pretty quick. Others may not react the same way. Whatever you do it needs to be drastic. Your BF needs to lay down the law in his home as well. Some things are just NOT to be tolerated. He is on the road to one of two places, I've seen my own son on that road, prison or dead. Take action before it happens. cont'd
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:35 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • If it happens anyway at least you will know you did EVERYTHING in your power to stop it.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:36 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • you need to tell her how old he is because she could land in prison for that! your son reminds me of my little sister! unfortunatly what helped her was being institutionalized for 2 years. this is the advice my mom would give.....PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. DO NOT LET HIM RUN YOUR HOUSE.HE NEEDS TO KNOW AND UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU EXPECT AND WHEN YOU CATCH HIM SNEEKING PEOPLE IN OR DRINKING AND SMOKING WEED YOU KICK THOSE PEOPLE OUT TAKE AWAY HIS DRINK AND WEED AND IF HE RUNS AWAY HE RUNS AWAY. EVENTUALLY IF HE WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOU HE WILL HAVE TO FACE HARSHER CONSEQUENSES AND HE WILL LEARN. 18 IS ONLY 3 YEARS AWAY AND AT 18 YOU DONT GO TO KIDS JAIL ANYMORE. STAND FIRM AND DO NOT LET HIM BRING THESE THINGS INTO YOUR HOME.
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 12:36 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • TO THE QUESTION "WHY ISN'T HE IN SCHOOL" MY SON IS HOME SCHOOL AND HE DOES HIS SCHOOL WORK IN THE AFTERNOONS. I'M WALKING ON EGG SHELLS CAUSE I DONT WANT TO MAKE MY SON SO MAD THAT HE RUNS AWAY, AND I ALSO DONT WANT MY BOYFRIEND TO END UP GOING OFF ON HIM CAUSE WHEN HE GOES OFF HE GOES WAY THE F OFF. IT SCARES ME, AND I KNOW IF HE LAYS A HAND ON MY CHILD ALL HELL WOULD BREAK LOOSE, CAUSE MY SON AND HIM WOULD BE FIGHTING THEN I WOULD JUMP IN OF COURSE TO PROTECT MY SON. I'M JUST READY TO SCREAM.
    okc-mom-2

    Answer by okc-mom-2 at 12:38 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Talk to the courts and have him put in juvi.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 12:44 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • really seems like home school is too lenient. he needs to be in a public or military school where they can keep tabs on him. you need to step up and be his parent. dont wait to talk to the girl. soon as you find out someone is in there kick them out! this is NOT HIS HOME!

    you need to also think what this could be doing to your BF. really think. but in the end YOU are the parent. dont let this kid walk all over you. put alarms on the windows. you and the police will know when that opens. GL
    m4m4

    Answer by m4m4 at 12:48 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in General Parenting
"poor kids"

Next question overall (Pregnancy)
Just curious....

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN