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How do you split the Holidays with inlaws?

Do you worry about pleasing everyone?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:55 PM on Dec. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • i'd at least visit both on whatever holiday if your able to. OR start your own traditions at home like opening presents and then visit with the rest of each side of the family.

    Answer by sandypops at 1:01 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • We just accept that the holidays are not relaxing... we participate in celebrations on both sides.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 1:06 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • My family has a long standing tradition of lunch on both Thanksgiving and Christmas Day. All of the inlaws in our family pretty much work around out schedule because there are so many of us (between kids and grankids there's 25 of us). Usually we have Thanksgiving meal on Friday with my inlaws and then either spend Christmas Eve or Christmas late afternoon/supper with them.

    Answer by missanc at 1:07 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • No, I don't worry about pleasing anyone, because the Holiday is just as much for myself and my family as it is for them. I try my best to see everyone, but if it doesn't happen then it doesn't happen. We base our travel plans on my Inlaws, because we are closest to them. This year we are having Christmas day Morning at my MIL's/SFIL's house and Christmas Day Evening at our house with my parents. We only visit my Inlaws and my parents during Christmas. My inlaws decide their plans, then DH/I and my parents decide our plans around that. Not because my Inlaws are more special then anyone else, it's just easier that way because they're closer. Also, my MIL really loves Christmas and so DH likes to make sure she has Christmas Day morning with us. (And the rest of the family. One year I'm going to try and get everyone to come over to our house for Christmas day, but we'll see how that works out.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 1:28 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • We get together (with both families, mine and his) ahead of time. That way they (my siblings as well as his) can spend the actual holiday where they want to and how they want to. I know my BIL and his wife do the before the holiday thing with DH's family then on Christmas day they spend it with her mom. Been doing this for years and it works out great. For us, it means a relaxing Christmas day at home. If people want to come to us they are welcome to, but we have upheld the family get together part so we are in the clear so to speak

    Answer by justgrape723 at 1:45 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • We live right up the street from SO's mother, next door to his sister and in the same town as his uncles family... we live 5 hours from any of my family (extended and immediate). So this year we spent our daughters first Thanksgiving with SO's family and will spend her first Christmas with mine, and it looks like this will be how we do it every year. Before when I was married, we spent EVERY holiday with my ex-husbands family because my family lived three states away (over 14 hours one way). So for me it's exciting to be able to go spend a holiday with mine!!

    Answer by SlapHappi at 1:46 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • When we lived in the same city as my family we'd see them first because they were about five minutes from us. Then the next day we'd go to the IL's or if the holiday was in the middle of the week, we go there that weekend. Now that we're around three hours from my family and close to his, they get every holiday and if I'm lucky we have the money to go see mine or they have the money to come see us. I don't get lucky often. The holidays are a miserable time for me. His family acts like they never see us and want to monopolize our time. They did that before we moved too. I honestly hate the holidays now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Thanksgiving: Every other year (one year with in-laws, next year with my family)
    Christmas Eve: In-laws
    Christmas Day: At home with just us in the morning, my family in the afternoon
    Easter: Every other year (except I have the opposite family over for brunch)

    Answer by JewelsE at 2:22 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

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