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Did anyone else leave their sperm donor BEFORE the baby was born?

I'm in a transitional period. I just left an abusive relationship(such as it was. I got beat for not measuring up to the alleged EX girlfriend-who I am positive he never left, and he never wanted me to have the baby and made it known. I can't believe I even loved him as much as I thought I did!). I'm almost 5 months pregnant. Could be give or take a few days, and not even sure what I'm having until the end of the month, IF my baby cooperates.

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Asked by DreamingOfMyDay at 1:54 PM on Dec. 2, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • You know, you should use this as an eye opener and learn from your experience. Why would you first of all sleep with someone whom you admit could have had another girlfriend? Than have a baby by him. Did he not show you signs that he was a loser from the beginning? Just move on and have enough respect for yourself to want a man who can respect YOU and treat you right before getting serious and sleeping with him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

    I LEFT HIM! I uprooted from Syracuse all the way to NYC. I was with him for UNDER a year. He didn't start beating me until we found OUT that I was pregnant.

    Answer by DreamingOfMyDay at 2:03 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • you are so strong and smart for leaving. there are tons of places that help out there.. you can get wic ect.. and make sure you file for child support.. you can get it even if you live 10 states away..
    good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Can't he find out where I am? I mean, I have ALL his info. I was at least smart enough to write all of it down before I left. BUT because of the abuse, I don't want him to find me. He didn't want the baby!

    Answer by DreamingOfMyDay at 2:35 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I would not file for child support in your case. There are those on here though who believe the father should be there or at least pay not matter what he did but I was in an abusive relationship, though I didn't have a child with him, and those guys don't change. Honestly, I wouldn't even put his name on the birth certificate. Cut him out and be done with it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • yep, I left an abusive xh before my last child was born. Life was easier without him.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:03 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I have a friend who was in your shoes, she ceased communication with her 'ex-boyfriend', moved back with her mother, got a job and found a place of her own, and when she gave birth she put her maiden name which was the name she had on the baby's birth certificate leaving the fathers name blank.

    If the father tries to come back into the picture he has to order a paternity test which cost money and takes time, plus he'd have to pay child support. So her thinking is since he didn't want the baby and was not the right type of person for her child to be raised around she would raise it alone and if he tried to fight coming back into the picture he'll have to pay (most people like their money and if they don't want kids don't like the idea of supporting one financially).

    Answer by Knightquester at 4:07 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • As for finding out where you are, yes he could, but again depending on how predictable you are it could cost him money. My best suggestion is to take this as a growing opportunity and try to find work in a new place. Maybe uproot yourself and make roots someplace that you can meet new people and find yourself again. You're going through a lot now and it will change who you are, so a new start might be a good thing for you.

    Answer by Knightquester at 4:10 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • DONT GO BACK. Once you have left the abuser, please stay gone. I did and it changed my life. Okay, onto the other question, my middle daughter hooked up with this guy, they moved in together right away and she got pregnant right away (long story). Two months into the pregnance she realized she did not want to be with this guy, he's a drinker and druggie and very immature, so she left. She did the pregnancy without him, had the baby without him, and is raising her little girl without him, and she is happier than I have ever seen her. You can do it too. p.s. When I say she did it without him, she did have us, her family, for support.

    Answer by TarLion at 6:02 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

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