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Marriage help

i need help, me and my husband have hit a bump in our marriage. Things just arent what they use to be and he is having a really hard time with it. we have decided to try and work on it, but he dont want to do marriage counseling. So im at a lose on what to do. This all came out in the open a week ago, I had no idea it was such a problem. But for the past week things have been so wierd and awkward between us. How can we move on and get back on track? Any advice at all!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Dec. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • SEX.....is there a lack of it? so...what exactly came out to make things so awkward?
    sandypops

    Answer by sandypops at 2:07 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I guess it depends on the problem, you will have to figure out a way to meet in the middle.. a lot of married couples have money and family problems.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:07 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • It's really hard to advise without knowing more. But marriages always change. It's impossible for them NOT to evolve as the two of you get older, because the two of YOU are always changing and growing till the day you die. NOBODY's marriage remains what it used to be...it adds layers and texture as the years go on. Some things become more important. Some become less important.

    Go to counseling yourself if he won't go..that can give you the perspective you need.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:11 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Write down what you think the problems are. Have him do the same then compare the lists. Begin working on each one. Also remember to spend some time just talking about each other (good things or things in general, not bills or kids or problems). I've heard that there should be ten minutes a day spent talking to each other about each other.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:00 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I think Dr. Phil has some marriage worksheets on his website or try going through a marriage self-help book. A lot of people are scared of therapy but really its no big deal. Good Luck!
    Rowdyblues

    Answer by Rowdyblues at 3:34 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I can't offer any advice without knowing the nature of the problem.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 4:45 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Even if he doesn't want couseling you can still get it. Ithink men are programed to think couseling is BAD bad bad. My husband was also that way. I went to couseling and eventually he went too. It also helped me to deal with him better too. keep trying and Ithink he will try eventually too. Good Luck and God Bless!
    MintMochaMom

    Answer by MintMochaMom at 5:05 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I was in the same situation. You don't have to go to marriage counseling, (my husband quit going) - what we did was rent videos from the library. There is an excellent series by Gary Smalley and he is wonderful. Instead of dragging hubby to counseling, try some easier stuff first. Guys hate counseling, lol!

    shellbyrne

    Answer by shellbyrne at 6:11 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Do the Love Dare. Find the book at WalMart or Mardel.
    matobe

    Answer by matobe at 6:23 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

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