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Do you feel a strong connection to your baby or babies even if you're no longer with their daddy?


Asked by DreamingOfMyDay at 2:44 PM on Dec. 2, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • I'm sorry you're getting such nasty answers. One of the posters has been horrible in several other posts. Don't listen to their petty judgmental attitudes. It's easy to be nasty on the net. That said, I can understand what you're saying but I really think as your pregnancy goes on you'll think of the sperm donor less and less. I have two children and believe me, when you look into that tiny face for the first time, it's the most amazing moment ever.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:46 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Yes, my relationship with their father has no bearing on my connection with my children.

    Answer by missanc at 2:45 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Yes, of course I feel connected ot my children no matter what cuz they are MY children. My relationship with their Dad has nothing to do with how much I love them. If you are speaking of step children here, then that might be different depending on the bond I formed with a step child. (hypothetically speaking I have no step children). I would love my DH's child and accept it as my own and I think it would certainly be hard to let that child go if things were to go bad. It really really depends in a situation like that one.

    Answer by lowencope at 2:49 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • no offense but what does the daddy have to do with jack sh*t?
    i have a strong bond with my DD and im not longer with her father. he was just someone with sperm,and one drunkin night. (actualy he was my high school best freind but whatevez im over it )

    Answer by sandraberke at 2:52 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • The reason I'm asking is I left my baby's father because of abuse...

    Answer by DreamingOfMyDay at 3:03 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • It shouldn't matter if they are your kids, they are your kids period. I petty a child whose mom feels "disconnected" because the jack ass father is gone. Even if the father didn't leave her let's say he died, what does that have to do with the unconditional love a mother should feel for her child?

    If mother-child bond is gone the minute the father walks away, it wasn't love to begin with, the child served the selfish purpose of trapping the dad in the sick twisted mom's mind. A mom loves her child regardless of her relationship to the dad.

    Answer by bebita at 3:06 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Your relationship with a baby's father should have NOTHING to do with your relationship with your child! Even if my SO ended up not being together anymore, I don't see how that would have any effect on how much I love my son...

    I'm sorry you were abused, but why would that affect your connection with your baby? I mean, the baby didn't do anything to you...

    Answer by Anouck at 3:06 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • So, what does that have to do with your love for your child? The dad was a jack ass that you choose to be with and have a child with. What does that have to do with the child? Does the child remind you about his dad? Well tough luck, then don't ever look at yourself in the mirror ever again because you choose the guy, so your own reflection should remind you of your life choices not looking at your child. Your baby is an innocent bystander to your life choices whether they were to stay with the jack ass or to dump him. I want to congratulate you for having teh courage to get away from an abusive situation. use the same courage to do what is best by your child and that is to have his mom loving him regardless of what happens between you and the dad.

    Answer by bebita at 3:10 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I'm confused. What does being with or not being with ones childrens' father have to do with the strength of ones feelings for ones own children, ones own flesh and blood? My kids are part of me,so the connection will ALWAYS be there and be strong. AND MY LOYALTIES lie with my children. When I decided to bring them into the world, I became responsible for them, above all else they are all that matters, not me, not my feelings, not some chromosome donor. Their father, is NO flesh and blood of mine. I will never understand how a woman, a mother, could ever CHOOSE a man OVER her own children. The topic certainly sheds some light on the mentality of those who do, though, It continues to boggle the mind.

    Answer by Emme69 at 3:59 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I'm still confused. I left my kids chromosome donor more than 10 yrs ago, because of abuse as well. I still don't understand what my feelings for my children have to do with no longer being with their chromosome donor.?.

    Answer by Emme69 at 4:03 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

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