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my daughter(2 1/2) has started telling me no on everything. i cant get her to do anything, pick up toys, eat her food, go to sleep or anything. all she says is no to everything. iv tried getting on to her and telling her its not nice and it dont work, time out isnot working either.

any suggestions, i dont like to spank but im about at that point.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Dec. 2, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • When you tell a 2 yr old to do something and they say no, you go take their arm and say YES. =It is not okay to tell Mommmy no. Then start her on the task. Time outs do work if you make sure of a few things. One minute per yr of age, the time out spot must be a place where little to no stimulation is present. They must sit quietly on the spot. Time doesn't start until they are. After, an apology and a hug from you. Be consistant every single time. Another point I wanted to make...find other ways to say NO. Stop, do not do that..etc. Why? I learned with my oldest that he soon became immune to hearing NO about so many things. He darted from my hand while walking one day into the street to get a dime. I screamed NO but he never stopped. At that point I stopped using the actual word NO unless it was critical that he stop. It didn't take long for him to pick up on when Mom says NO it means stop dead in your tracks.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:51 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I agree with PP about not over-using the word NO. We use "stop that, please, put that down, please, come away from there, please", etc. and NO would be for going near the hot stove, or coming into a room where I've broken a dish, etc. She's at the age where she's trying to exert her independence and test her boundaries. You just need to be consistent.

    Picking up her toys is something you can MAKE her do. Eating and sleeping is NOT. You can only give her the opportunity to eat and sleep. I.E - being at the table with food, eat or don't eat is her choice. being in her bed, asleep or awake is her choice.

    Picking up toys....What works for us is "Parenting with Love & Logic" by Jim Fay and Foster Cline. Sing "Uh looks like you need some bedroom time. I take him to his room (crying) and tell him to come out when he's ready to p/u toys. The first time, he came out, I said excitedly, Oh! You are ready to p/u toys!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 11:10 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • (con't) He fell in the floor crying. I gently picked him up, and sadly said, Oh, no....I thought you were ready (he's not very verbal yet, so more crying) put him back in his room, repeat the above steps about 8 (or was it 80?) times, each time saying, I'm sorry, I thought you were ready that time. Please come out when you are ready to p/u your toys. Finally.....he did (except it was DVD's & books that he cleared off a shelf, LOL!) I said can you put this on the shelf? Yay, good job. Another one? Another? Yay! When it was done, that was it. Now, he will pretty much obey the first/second time (warning given) just to avoid the 10 minutes of back/forth or whatever it was. It was amazing. It is harder not to spank. But with consistency and patience, you'll get there. It's a great age, they are learning so much and can be so fun. Hang in there, Mama. They grow up fast!

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 11:17 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • It is just a phase! They are just learning how to use that word and exercising the use whenever possible. I would just say yes, you have to eat. (Once. It's silly to get into a yes-no-yes-no arguement.) If she is refusing her food, just tell her "Yes, you have to eat. If you don't, you will be hungry." If she continues to say no, take her food away, cover it up. Serve it later when she is hungrier. She will learn what no means. At bedtime just tell her "yes, it's time to go night-night" and lay her down. If she refuses to pick up her toys, etc. I would just put her in time-out. Offer a lot of praise when she does things when you ask her to without saying "no" or complies when you tell her she -has- to do it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Also, I agree with minimizing the use of "No" like the PPs said.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • i have a 5 & 3 year old. Bribing my children works best for getting them to pick up their toys, or making a game of it. For instance, mommy is going to see who can pick up the toys the fastest, whomever gets the most, wins! that works. and when my 3 year old yells 'no' at me. i let him know i mean business by getting to his level, looking in his eyes and telling him, you don't tell mommy no. and then i direct him to what i told him to do in the first place, and try to always follow through. and then when he does what i asked, i praise him and say mommy is so proud of you for picking up your toys!! what a big boy you are!... i know its kinda corny, but it works! and he is more likely to listen the next time so that i will be proud of him. hope this helps you.

    Answer by MirandaLacy at 12:13 AM on Dec. 3, 2009