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Due in 3 weeks. Not getting along with Midwife. Advice?

I'm 35 weeks Pregnant with my 2nd. The midwife we chose for the birth seemed ok at first, but now she has become very demanding and agressive. I do not want her on my birthing team. What should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by kiwigoddess at 11:02 PM on Dec. 2, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 4 (55 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Is there someone else you could go to?

    Answer by ldsdragonmom at 11:06 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I had a similar problem, and switched to the OB I had w/ my first daughter. I see her for the first time monday (I am 37 w 5 d now)
    I "fired" my midwife a week and a half ago.
    Try to find someone you are comfortable with and keep calling them until they take you as a patient :)

    Answer by ccspiratemama at 11:13 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • My friend switched doctors the day before she had her son. I guess its never to late. You want someone your comfortable with, who you trust, and that you definitely get along with. You can find someone else. Don't worry about it. Most likely, you'll never see this midwife again

    Answer by starmoonlight at 11:23 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • If you are still pregnant then it's not "too late" to switch. ;-)
    What other options do you have for access to other midwives? Any friends with referrals for you?
    Was this for a hospital, birth center, or home birth?
    Has she suddenly had a turn or has it been creeping up? What kind of demands were unreasonable? What are your expectations? Have you discussed them with her?

    Answer by doulala at 11:47 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • First make sure you can find someone else, and then let her go gently... its your day you deserve whoever you want to have.

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 1:14 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • i swithed doctors at 36 weeks for this reason. im so glad i did. do what is best for you and the baby, dont worry about her.

    Answer by erika_wright at 1:27 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I had this problem with my first Midwife, I did nothing and had a hurendous experience with her during the birth. You NEED and DESERVE people that are on your TEAM during your delivery, you are in no condition to fight for yourself at that time and you need someone who you feel will represent you appropriatly. Please find someone ELSE to take you on. I ADORE the midwives who delivered my second daughter and let me tell you that it makes ALL the difference in the world. So....again my advice to you is to find a different midwife, if you dont' have time, then switch to an OB or a unassisted doula attended home birth. That's what I would do.

    Answer by smilinghug at 1:46 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • we were originaly going with the midwife for a homebirth. She was the only one in the area who was willing to both work on Xmas (due in Jan but we are thinking he's gonna be a holiday baby) and to travel here. Our only other option for midwives is another town 2 hours away and they are all afailiated with the hospital and wont do homebirths. I really do not want to have this baby in the hospital. Our little local hospital only has one OB on staff, and I have had problems with him before. Our first child was a planned freebirth, but we realy wanted the extra confidence of having a midwife there this time. now Its looking like we are going to have to UC again. and hope we can rely on the ER if anything goes wrong. I was trying to avoid having to surprise the hospital staff with another surprise baby but I just cant see any other option at this point.

    Answer by kiwigoddess at 1:57 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I thought so... lol.

    If you are a TRULY natural birther, you're probably going to have some difficulties with any provider telling you what to do or expecting you to follow suit.
    What happened that made you feel you "needed" extra confidence?
    And how does that midwife feel about your UC? Is that affecting her care?

    Answer by doulala at 2:25 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Go for the UC, if shes not compatiable with you it's ment to be!!

    Answer by mamaof2748 at 4:51 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

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