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Friend slept with another friend. Both married. Both female.

Okay so a friend of mine had a sexual encounter with another friend. They are both female. I don't have a issue with gay people. I don't. But my issue is that her and this other girl are married. Apparently her husband is completely okay with it. He said to go ahead with it and he won't intrude in on it. So anyways now when I talk to her, she is looking up past females that have hit on her and she's basically looking for female hook-ups. To me its cheating though and I don't want to hear about it. If your going to have a sexual relationship with either male or female, its cheating. She is my best friend and we're really open to each other. I tell her everything and well obvisiously she tells me everything. I really don't know how to tell her that I don't want to hear about it anymore. This just happened a couple of nights ago and now she won't shut up about it. Any suggestions?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Dec. 2, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I agree with you and consider it cheating. just tell her that its her life but you would rather not hear about that particular part of her life. That ya'll are still friends and you arent judging, but you also just dont wanna know. Thats what i would do.
    Ronnies_Girl

    Answer by Ronnies_Girl at 12:19 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Do you want to get with her?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I have a similar situation. My bestfriend cheated on her husband with another guy. Her husband don't know. It really upsets me and I even feel a disconnect with her because of it. I just don't understand why she would do it. She told me and was giggling about it, like she was expecting me to join in on the fun of the situation. But I just don't get it and I don't know what to do either. Sorry I have no advice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • If her DH is OK with it then I wouldn't call it cheating
    Blueliner

    Answer by Blueliner at 11:36 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • Tell her that you don't necessarily approve of the situation, but you know it is not your situation to control, of course. Still, you'd rather not hear about it though, as it is not something that you agree with and you don't want it to compromise your friendship at all.
    MommyToSmeech

    Answer by MommyToSmeech at 11:36 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • OP here- I consider it cheating even if her hubby is okay with it. I think when you say 'I do'.. it also means "I will only sleep with you for the rest of my life". I know most people don't see it that way but that's the way I am. No, I do not want to get with her. I'm just annoyed because all she wants to talk about now is what she did and who she's talking to and what her plans are and what the other girl is saying to her. I just see it as cheating completely. If my hubby were to tell me today that he wouldn't mind if i slept with someone else.. whether male or female.. would I .. no! She is now all about the female booty. It's kind of nerve wrecking
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I think you don't understand the meaning of the word cheating.
    Blueliner

    Answer by Blueliner at 11:49 PM on Dec. 2, 2009

  • I think you don't. understand the word cheating. So I'm guessing its okay to sleep with whoever when your married? Than what's the point in getting married when you still plan to be sexual with other people?? Thank you Ronnies Girl! I plan on talking to her about it but just don't know how.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • It is cheating, to those who are monogamous. But there is such a thing as Polyamory. If no one in the relationship has an issue with what's going on, and they are consenting adults, then there's really nothing that can be done about it. It's just a personal preference; you have to decide on whether you want to remain friends with them or not if it bothers you.

    NightPhoenix

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 1:38 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Um no, I don't think it's OK for ME. But if her DH knows about it and doesn't care then it's not cheating. Cheating implies that your partner doesn't know about it and is not OK with it. That's like saying an "open book" test is technically cheating because you're using a book even though it's allowed!

    Here's the definition of CHEAT:

    transitive verb
    1 : to deprive of something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud
    2 : to influence or lead by deceit, trick, or artifice
    3 : to elude or thwart by or as if by outwitting

    intransitive verb
    1 a : to practice fraud or trickery b : to violate rules dishonestly
    2 : to be sexually unfaithful —usually used with on


    I don't see any deceit, trickery, dishonesty, etc.
    Blueliner

    Answer by Blueliner at 1:43 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

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