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How can I transition my dd to her own bed without her thinking we're kicking her out of our bed due to the baby that's about to come?

My dd is 2 years old. She co-sleeps with hubby and me....well just me right now since hubby is deployed. We will be transitioning her to her own bed once hubby comes home. I'm worried though (I'm pregnant and she knows she will have a baby brother/sister coming) that she might think we're kicking her out due to the new baby. Since we're getting a crib for this baby, I talked to hubby about maybe putting the crib in her room so I can have both my babies in one room together, but he believes when the baby cry at night, it will wake her up. He said we'll put the crib in our room so it will be easier for me since I will be breastfeeding. Do you think I'm worrying over nothing? How can I make the transition easier that she's a big girl now and needs her own bed? We're going to try to do it before the baby gets here...which is May.


Asked by starbucks81 at 1:01 AM on Dec. 3, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (21)
  • I think that getting her excited for a big girl bed would be good. Maybe you could set up the crib early so you can get familiar with the baby's bed too. That way she knows that your not kicking her out because of baby, but because she's a big girl (and I know your not kicking her out, but you need your peace too) Get her going in the toddler bed asap, maybe start with naps, get her comfortable with and just make a big deal of it being a big girl thing. They love the big girl special stuff at that age.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • It's going to be hard to get her to think she isn't being kicked out because of the new baby coming when she is being kicked out because of the new baby coming. You may want to get a King size bed and everyone will fit.

    Answer by Gailll at 1:06 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Gaill...thanks for your input but the fact is we're NOT kicking her out of our room due to the baby. Even if I'm not pregnant at the moment, we'd be moving her to her own bed. And if that was the case, my question would have been how to transition her there easily. And besides this baby will not be co-sleeping with us. Like I said we're buying a crib for this baby to put in the room.

    Answer by starbucks81 at 1:17 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Get her excited for a big girl bed! Make it a big deal about sleeping in a big girl bed. Tell her that babies sleep with momma and daddies and big girls sleep in their own beds.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • The crib should not be in the room with her. If she gets jealous, she might hurt the baby. I've seen it happen before. I think you should talk to her, and say that she's too big big to be sleeping with you now, that it's time for her to go to her own bed. If she doesn't have her own bed yet, make it a special occasion by going out and letting her pick out her own. If she does have a bed already, tell her that she can arrange her room anyway she likes, and maybe buy her a new blanket or something to celebrate how much she's grown up. If you're strapped for cash, you can get one at the thrift store.You can also make a recording of your voice, telling her a bedtime story, or something that she can listen to before she goes to bed, and if she wakes up at night. No matter what, you have to be consistent, and do not mention the new baby at all when telling her it's time to move on. It might take a while, but she will move on.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 1:20 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Why? I coslept with three kids. They all had their own beds but never slept in them. I do think it is kicking her out to force her into her bed. I am wondering if it will be hard to do when dad comes back because she has been without him so long. Maybe if this is something you feel you need to do, I would advise doing it before he comes back.

    Answer by Whatkids at 1:21 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Oh. sorry.....
    To answer the question, I would:

    Take her to the store and let her pick out her bedding.
    Make her room fun and inviting.
    Put a night light in or a clap on light. (All three of my kids are afraid of the dark despite my best efforts. Go figure, at fifteen even!)
    If this is something you want and have to do, do it. Be strong. It really is a matter of choice. You are choosing to have your child sleep elsewhere.
    I coslept with all three because Dad worked nights, and my kids were very sick all the time and it seemed I needed to so I could sleep. (I also homeschooled so it didn't matter at the time what hours we slept.) Anyway, not to be harsh, but it really did seem like you were kicking her out. But since I misread that I am sorry.
    Good luck. Be strong. :)

    Answer by Whatkids at 1:26 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Thanks ladies....yeah I guess I'll try to make it really special and exciting for her to sleep in her own bed. We'll take it slow and I'd prob occasionally sleep with her too (Idk if that's a good idea or just so she knows that when she needs me, I'm there.

    And thanks for the heads up NightPhoenix, I didn't think of that possibility by putting the crib and the baby in her room too.

    Answer by starbucks81 at 1:31 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I would make it as exciting for her as you can, have her help arrange her bed in her room, pick out bedding, etc... also make start out with just her naps (if she is still napping) in her bed and gradually work to the full night. Maybe get her a baby monitor that she can call out for you if she is scared and then go to her right away so she knows you will be there for her if she needs you. Once you have her in her own room I would try to avoid having her come to your bed if she is having a bad night, just go to her and comfort her in her room.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I didn't really think about helping her choose the bedding....I guess we can do that. She already has a bedding, but it will be great for her to choose another one herself. I just hope they have a lot of good selection for a full size bed. She did slept well on her own for 2 nights when we were staying at lodging at one of the kids beds...she did woke up around 4 or 5 am and cried but hubby and I end up going to her and sleeping right next to her until it's time to fully wake up. We were going to start her on her own bed once when we moved into our house, but hubby deployed, and I didn't had the heart to move her into her bed.

    Answer by starbucks81 at 1:46 AM on Dec. 3, 2009