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Am I a sh*tty mom?

I think I'm going through delayed post-partum. My child is 8 1/2 months and I've been getting very sad/angry lately, maybe the past month. I am on zoloft already, have been for 5+ years, for bipolar, but this is weird because it isnt just a mood swing, its an everyday feeling. I feel like I don't want to be a mom anymore. I fantasize about what I'd be able to do if I didnt have a baby, I wish so bad I didnt. The past 8 1/2 months have gone by very smoothly, I have a happy, healthy baby whom everyone adores and I do too. I guess I just feel bitter. Like I don't want this as much as I thought I did. I find myself semi-avoiding interaction with my baby by going on lots of outdoor activities so I can push her in the stroller. I feel like she doesnt like me. I feel like a bad mom. Anyone felt like this? Am I a horrible person for all this? I feel so sh*tty. What should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:36 AM on Dec. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • I have a very close friend who is bi-polar, I would talk to your doctor you may need a med adjustment. 9 times out of 10 when my friend feels that way she ends up needing to adjust her meds. Sometimes it takes a few of us pointing it out to her to get her to go in. Just remember to keep in mind that your med dosage will change when you have hormonal changes because it affects the way your body reacts to it.

    also 8 months is that semi rough age where they start to be real live person lol, they start to move and have an idea of what they want to do and many moms have a hard time when their baby hits that milestone and baby becoes much busier.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:42 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I went thru my child hated me cause i worked all the day and I barly saw her and she would want daddy who she was with all day but it is they are at that age of becoming a real person. I think you need to call the doctor and be straight up and honest with him and ask him for a adjustment in meds. I would do it right away the sooner the better for you and the LO.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Hey, it could be the Zoloft CAUSING that. Go back in and talk to your doctor. Are you at the point where it is too tiring to shower and stuff? I have had to go back and forth on antidepressants because some caused those problems that they were trying to alleviate!

    Answer by Whatkids at 2:59 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • A shitty mom is someone who know's she had a problem and doesn't do anything about it. I think you're a good mom for reaching out and trying to find ways to make it better. These ladies have excellent advice about seeing your doctor. Your baby totally loves you! Hugs!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Why haven't you been discussing these feelings with your therapist?

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:41 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Definitely talk with a doctor/health care provider about the medicine you are currently on, it could be causing that. Keep strong Girl, you are NOT a bad Mom, you realize how you feel & you're trying to fix it ... that makes you wonderful!! Keep your head up, it will get better ~ HUGS!!! ~

    Answer by jjk45xox at 7:48 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • sad I feel sad for your baby. They are so innocent in all of this. 


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Hugs-- you are not a bad mom. A bad mom would not recognize there is a problem, and would not ask for help or do anything to make the situation better.
    I think you should talk to your doctor and see if the Zoloft could be causing your feelings.. Maybe a change of medicine/dosage would help? If you also see a therapist, you should talk about this with them.
    Good luck, I hope all works out!

    Answer by MizLee at 10:14 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • You are NOT a bad mother. Perhaps that wasn't the best choice of words for your question, people might run with it and just make it worse.

    Perhaps a change in medication would help. Mental illnesses go into regression and then spring up when you least expect it. I have depression. I began a treatment regimen six months ago, the depression went down for a few months, now it's come back with a vengeance. It happens, it sucks but it's real, and you're very brave for admitting that you have a problem. I could've written this myself. I have a tooooooon of journals on this subject if you ever want to find them and check them out. It might make you feel a little less lonely. You are not the only mom out there that feels like this. Most just never admit it.

    Answer by caitxrawks at 10:33 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Talk to your doctor. You'd only be a bad mom if you didn't get help.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:15 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

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