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I blame my child for divorce

I dont have a divorce.....but this is hypothetical. Everyone tells their kids in a divorce "its not your fault, it has nothing to do with you" BUT I can see how children WOULD cause a divorce. Dh and I fight more over our kids than ANYTHING! Kids cause stress....financial strain.......So I believe that kids are a BIG factor in causing divorce.....do I think a parent should tell them that? HELL no but its just my thought........what do you think?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:27 AM on Dec. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • no, that's just stupid
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:28 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I agree, if you think that, then you should never of had them!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I think you are way wrong!! If you (not you directly), can not afford kids then you shouldn't have them! If you can not afford kids, then have kids, then discover you can not afford them then that's your fault, not the kids! Divorce is caused by many reasons other than financial stress!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Nope, I still feel that it's because of differing opinions on how to raise that child and a lack of compromise that causes the divorce and arguments, not the child.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:30 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • i know that with my dads 2nd wife that we were the reason they divorced. My dad was 30 with 3 kids...she was 21. She couldnt handle it and we butted heads BIG TIME when she stepped in trying to take over after i filled in the mother role for a long time...i didnt like it one bit...i wasnt about to have someone only a few yrs older than me that acted like a kid themselves telling me what to do.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:32 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • This is like saying that you are an alcoholic because of the alcohol. It's still up to the adult to act like one and be able to listen to the other parent and admit that at times they are not the sole guardian of that child. Having children is no different than being married, it's about compromise.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • and yes my dad did blame me and say that it was our fault and when he married his 3rd wife he said that he wasnt going to let us ruin it for him...and he shoved us to the side
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:35 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Yes being a parent is stressfull, but parents are adults. If parenting causes fights and tension between a husband and wife, it's the husband and wife who are at fault, NOT the child. The parents are at fault for not communicating, not working together as a unit, a child has NOTHING to do with a marriage.
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:35 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Sorry, I completely disagree. Kids do not cause divorce, no matter what they may do. Even assuming that all the things you mention are true, that does not mean it is the child's fault. The parents are responsible for being sure that they can handle having children, financially and otherwise, before having them. If the parents were not mature enough to realize that having kids would be hard and would cause some difficulty, again...not the kids fault. It ALL comes back to the parents. Divorce is the end of a marriage, not the end of a family. Marriage is between two people, therefore the end of it is the result of the actions of those two people. The kids are innocent bystanders. Period.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:36 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I think the stress of having kids is what you mean the problem is. Not necessarily the kids themselves. The real problem is the communication between you and your husband. And trust me, I am NOT judging. Communication needs to be worked on over here too!

    As a parent of a child with Autism this really hits home. The majority of couples who have kids with special needs do not end up happy :( Very sad, but true. Arguments over care, how to raise them, what to try, who gets a break, etc.

    So I hear what you are saying. Just try to remember that it is the stress of the kids, not the actual kids. I heard someone say that the famous quote, money is the root of all evils is wrong. And it's true. The LOVE of money is the root of all evils. Same thing applies here.
    jeano23

    Answer by jeano23 at 10:03 AM on Dec. 3, 2009

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