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Does a realtionship that starts as an affair ever work out long-term?

Do you know of any husband who left their wife to be with the mistress and that relationship has survived long-term? OR has anyone had an affair, left your husband for your lover and the relationship worked out long-term?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Dec. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Good question. My relationship began as an affair, I was cheating on my SO at the time. I have now been with the man I was cheating with for 6 years and happily married for 3. I'm not proud of what I did but it worked out in the end.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Well, just from the stats, I do know that 2nd marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages, so obviously a lot of them end up splitting. I think the majority of them won't last, especially if it was merely just a high of excitement being with a new person, and the allure of something different and forbidden. Which is usually why most men end up cheating. Nah, I doubt they have a success rate at keeping their mistresses. Sooner or later, they'll be bored with her and on the prowl for something that's new and exciting again. There's probably a 95% chance of them not staying together, and a 5% chance of them lasting.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Not that I can think of. My SIL had a 10 year affair with a married man & he dumped her when she got pregnant.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I got married too young to the wrong man. I met current DH about 2.5 years into my 1st marriage. We had an affair and fell madly in love, it took a long time, but I left my 1st husband for DH. DH and I have been married for 6.5 years and together almost 12. I know what I did was wrong, but to think of living my entire life with the wrong man gets me through any feelings of guilt. We all had lots of counseling during that time and I learned that only 10% of relationships that start as affairs don't fail. Odds were stacked against us, but we were so in love and so sure. It was HELL during those years, looking back I can't believe we weathered that storm of the century, but thankfully, here we are. I did not have children with my 1st husband, I think that would have made a big difference. DH and I have 2 children now.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I'm guessing you're the mistress. Why a mistress would want a man who is married or even think he could be trusted not to do the same to her is a mystery to me. The vast majority of these "relationships" don't work out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • OP - I'm not the mistress. I'm the betrayed spouse and am just wondering what the odds are that STBX and OW will last. I keep hearing about "karma" ... just hoping it comes around sooner than later (mean and bitter, I know - that's just where I am right now).

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • OP - funny observation ... all responses are ANON's on this one!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Well honestly. My Dh started on an affair. I was single he had a girlfriend. I feel bad that I hurt her but they didn't fit each other at all. She was bored but she didn't want to end it. He was bored same thing expect he wanted to end it. well he did.... 3 years later we're happy very happy and I pray theres a lifetime ahead of us. I love that man! ( By the way he isn't the one to cheat on someone lets just say I was a very bad person then....)

    Answer by rebel07 at 2:12 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • My friend was having an affair with her firend/neighbor's hubby. They are now both divorced and now both buying a house together. Definitely they belonged together. Their spouses treated them bad, by hitting them and living apart three days a week at another house for his work?? WTF?? How can a marriage lst by being ignored like that? I am so glad she is with her guy. For once I say the other woman did a lot better!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • My one brother was having an affair while married. He left his wife and is with his mistress. They have 2 children together and have been together at least 6 years now.

    Answer by purpleducky at 6:57 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

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