Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I have a CPS question.

I have a CPS question. My stepchildren went for a visit with their mom over thanksgiving. BM lives with her younger two kids, her mom, and her brother. Currently brother is in jail until January. This house was either given to them or just allowed for their use by grandma's father. Father got married and moved out. The house is in very poor condition from what the kids have told me. The roof leaks, the ceiling looks like is going to fall down in some parts. SD did tell me the ceiling did fall on her while she was in the shower. Ik the house had to filthy because SD's DS game came back with a funky film on it, SS's pants had dog vomit on them, SD also came back with a mildewed bow and lice. I was advised by kid's counselor to call CPS and I most likely will but it's a timing issue. Right now the drama is mild compared to normal. We feel it wouldn't be hard for her to figure out we were the ones who called. There is more..

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:51 PM on Dec. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • Ask your husband to talk to her. Doesn't sound like a cps situation to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Talking to her wouldn't do any good. She denies her drug use, my oldest SS's problems with bed wetting and nightmares. There is a long history of abuse and neglect. I do fear for her younger two children. I typed up most of the back story before I realized the character limit. She also flat out told me she doesn't like her younger two and the kids have told me she calls them all evil. As advised by doctor and counselor visitation should continue but the counselor also suggested I call to see what they say. She also will have people coming in and out and god knows who will be around the kids because she doesn't want to be alone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • It's not a CPS situation. Why do so many step moms on here feel the need to call CPS on the biological mother? If there is a long history of abuse and neglect you need it documented. As far as what she tells you, it's all heresay.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Oh give me a break. It is all documented. CPS wasn't even a thought for me until the children's counselor suggested it. Start thinking outside your lil box. I'm not out to get poor lil bio mom. I'm looking out for the best interest of my kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I would call CPS for sure. It does not sound like those children are in a safe, protected place where they are able to learn and grow and be nurtured. Good Luck and it nice to see someone who cares.
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 2:51 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • ITS BETWEEN YOUR HUSBAND AND THE MOTHER OF HIS KIDS. Not you. Looks like your just trying to steer up trouble. If you have an ounce of care for your husband's kids, you wouldn't try to turn their world upside down now would you? If you are sooo concerned why don't you nag your husband to talk to her and take a look at the situation. Poor kids to have a step mom like you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:54 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • HAHAHAHAHAHA! You are something else. Did u not comprehend the part where the kids live with my SO and I? Where she no longer has custody of her oldest two due to her neglect. That poor lil victimized BM is a drug addict?
    Sounds like I hit a nerve with you. Maybe u need to take a long hard look at yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Call. The house seems unsafe and the BM unstable. It's great that you are so concerned about your step children. A lot of Step Mom's don't give a rats ass about their steps. Given the details you have provided, it definitely sounds like an unsafe and unacceptable situation.

    Ignore the rude posts.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • From the situation you described, there is a problem. However please use caution when calling CPS/DSS because once they are involved it's so very hard to get them out of your lives! And they can take over and they CAN take the kids away- for reason or no reason - beieve me they can make things up! CPS/DSS are there for a reason, I know, but please be careful!
    Katt709

    Answer by Katt709 at 3:18 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Thank you everyone for your supportive answers. I do have another option I will put in place soon. I don't want to cause more harm than good. Ik personally someone's life who was turned upside down because her CPS worker just didn't like her. From day one goal was to take the kids and not to help. I don't want that for BM or her kids no matter how shitty I think she is. I want things to be made better for the sake of all kids involved. I also just can't let this go and turn a blind eye. Through the help of a very wise person, I will take another route. Thank you again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.