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How do I deal with My son and his GF who is such a negative, hostile person?

My son met a girl almost two years ago. He was a very shy, good kid all through school. We did lots of things with him growing up, he has had just about everything he wanted, if not from us from Grandparents who take his side whether he is right or wrong. He hooked up with this girl who was 18 at the time, a high school drop out, coming out of a relationship where she thought she was preg. Anyway got preg first month with my son, lost the baby, (3 now) keeps trying to get preg, but cusses us out and has hit myself and pushed my husband. She has turned my son who was always laid back and easy going into a negative person who always thinks the worst now. Now he isn't speaking to us, her mom has threatened me to stay away from what is now "her" son. All I want is to get along. I have tried to except her but my words always get twisted into something I didn't say. Do I give up on him or keep trying?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Dec. 3, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (14)
  • The relationship is doomed. Just leave him alone with his mess.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Have you tried including the GF with family occations? Even if she is negative and probably not the best for your son, you still need to include her. If it were me I would let her know you want her to be apart of your sons life and a part of your family. Offer that olive branch to them both. Otherwise you may loose contact with him for a long time if not forever.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • he is not going to leave his gf... might as well just give up! he will eventually come around, maybe when its too late
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I have tried to include her. When she tries to, we get along fine. I have done lots of things for them both. A month into their relationship I bought them stuff for their apartment, Paid for stuff for her birthday dinner she threw herself, I have tried to be encouraging to her when she keeps getting pregnant I have invited her to lunch and movies and lots of things. After a month of dating my son and getting pregnant the first month our response was man this is just way to soon, You guys are young, not in school, no full time job or insurance or anything and her response was.....F off and stay out of my life, you will have nothing to do with my baby.....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • My son got mixed up with a girl like that. I had to let go and let him figure it all out on his own.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:45 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I have pretty much been telling myself to let go also. has it helped with your situation admckenzie? Is there a chance he will come to his senses and at least try to be a part of our family?
    Teresa61625

    Answer by Teresa61625 at 10:08 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I love my sons' gf, so I can't relate to this particular aspect, but I absolutely can relate to letting go and letting him figure it out for himself.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 1:19 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • Why are their so many moms that talk about their poor perfect sons being manipulated by horrible women? I've known these guys and they seem wonderful to adults but they are just as bad as the girls they end up with - that's why they are with them! I am 26 and have avoided these guys at all costs.

    There's a reason he's with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • Yea, well just looking for that reason......... I never said he was perfect at all and I have never met a horrible girl (not woman) like this one. This is a site to look for helpful advise from people that have experienced it. Doesn't sound like you have. I know there's a reason he is with her.. sex... I am sure and the fact that to keep him she lets him spend all their money on whatever he wants and in return they live for free at her house.. He doesn't have us to say take out the trash, go to school and get a degree, etc.. basically expect something out of him. So I will still hope and pray that there will come a time that he decides he wants more out of life than a negative, manipulating, potty mouthed girl like the one his is with..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:27 PM on Dec. 11, 2009

  • I agree the relationship there won't last too long ,your son will come to his senses.even though right now he can't see the problem, because he is caught up on this girl.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 10:54 AM on Dec. 13, 2009

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