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Would you consider this as a submissive wife?

I work but I as a wife and mother feel it is my duty to take care of my husband, children, clean the house, do the laundry, cook and pay the bills. Now my husband does offer to help with these things but I make him go watch TV, I do not mind doing these things because I like to. We are partners he never tells me or demands me to do anything, I want to. Is this considered being a submissive wife?

 
lapcounter

Asked by lapcounter at 4:38 PM on Dec. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,024 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I wouldn't call it submissive, but I'm sure it's very guy's dream come true. As long as you are happy with things being the way they are, and have no hidden resentment, then what you're doing in your life is fine.
    NightPhoenix

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 4:55 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • No because you are not being "demanded" to do those things and he is not yelling at you to clean etc...

    I do want to say though women make a huge mistake of wanting to do everything and eventually this can backfire. I would let him do a few things here and there when he asks. It's good for him to help....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • It's not submissive but you are cheating your dh out of helping. Maybe he wants to really feel like he's doing his part. I'd rethink telling him to go on and watch tv. He may want to feel needed. I'd rather he help you than to go help someone else and it lead to something else. Not bashing, just asking you to rethink your strategy.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:03 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • To me, marriage is an equal partnership. We both work, we both care for our child, we both do household chores. If you are comfortable with handling all of the "roommate" chores, then keep on this way. I suspect that you are not completely ok with this arrangement; otherwise you would not have put the question out there.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:07 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • No, I wouldn't say submissive exactly but you don't seem equal. You have a full day, eight hours or so at your job, right? Then you come home and start your second, third and fourth jobs. It's probably a dream come true for him. JMO, but really a man's job does not end at bringing home money, you know?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:18 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • No but just make sure you don't turn around and complain that he never helps because you'll be the one that created that monster... I think for sanity sake, you should let him help you with the house and kids since you both work...

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Def. of submissive.

    1. inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient: submissive servants.
    2. marked by or indicating submission: a submissive reply.


    I think you are submissive, theres nothing wrong with that, i know alot of women dont like to hear that and will say i'm wrong, but i'm religious and believe that i'm supposed to be submissive, so i am. but, i do expecet my dh to pitch in, he does all the stuff that i dont like to do like the trash and cleaning the bathroom.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:56 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • If you are looking for an answer from a Christian perspective, I would first suggest you go to a Christian group, because the word "submissive" has been perverted by our culture. I believe in "reverencing" my husband, and I believe that submission is the position of the wife in the order of household authority. I do completely take care of the house. When my husband offers to help, I let him, with gratitude. Otherwise, I feel that I am dismissing his genuine offer to love me by helping me take care fo the house.

    I believe that men and women were created differently and have different roles. Neither position is less than the other - they have different roles, and complement each other. Further, the role of a woman is glorifed in th Bible. It is a freedom. It is wonderful. The Bible doesn't say a woman couldn't do the job, or that they are incapable, simply that it isn't their role.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 9:38 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Don't push away his offer to help. He isn't going to see that as being a submissive wife. He's going to see that as you turning HIM away, and possibly that you think you can do it better than him. Which may or may not be true. :) But when a man offers something, view it as a bouquet of flowers. Accept it as a gift, thank him, and never say "oh, you shouldn't have." Don't cheapen his offers of help by turning him away.
    apexmommy

    Answer by apexmommy at 9:40 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

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