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AP What are your true thoughts about your childs BP

Just curious to know

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:10 PM on Dec. 3, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (13)
  • I feel like she's part of my family. Like I have another sister who lives across the country who I worry about and pray for and love. my heart will be tied to hers forever and I just hope to raise my daughter to be someone that she's proud of.

    Answer by ZoeyBethsMomma at 10:08 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I love her with all my heart and pray for her safety and well-being. Even though she's not a part of his life right now, I would like there to become a time where it is possible for her to be. (Many are aware of our foster care circumstances.) I know that she tries to get things together, but due to the ppl that she's around, she stays "stuck" where she's at. I don't judge her at all, "but for the grace of God, there go I." I am grateful to have gotten to know her the year prior to her rights being terminated. I will be able to answer many of his questions about her. I never met his father who relinquished early on in the case, but I hope and pray that his life improves to the point that whenever our son wants to find him, that it will be a wonderful reunion. I know that there are no guarantees. So I pray for the best possible outcome for them all.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 10:43 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • With my first child's bmom: I worry about disappointing her when she handed over such an enormous responsibility to me. I raise our child with the hope that while I am not perfect, she will look back in 18 years and feel like I did a good job. She is the "success story" that gets advertised: she has her life together after she placed and finished school and is married with other children now. I am humbled by her faith in me, she is very religious and it keeps me more faithful where life has swayed me a little. I love and respect her and would do anything for her.
    My 2nd child's bmom is not the same relationship: She is sadly living the stereotype that gets thrown around here. I try very hard to see the "injured girl in the woman" that makes her do what she does. She was smart to make an adoption plan for this child. I fear for her and because of some of her history, I fear her stability.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I have never, and may never meet them, but I love them because they are a biological part of who my babies are.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • You don't want to know what I think of my childrens' birthparents. We adopted from foster care. Our girls were neglected and abused by their birthparents and they will carry the hurt with them throughout their entire lives.

    Answer by Littlebit722 at 6:38 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I love both of these women and pray for God's blessings on them. I am sad that they are having some difficulties, because they are good people and deserve better than what life (and sometimes their own choices) has dealt them. I think DD's bmom is so trusting that people take advantage of her. Being trusting is a good quality, but I hope she will begin to protect herself better. DS's bmom is someone I want to know better, but it's hard because we've had so few chances to meet and talk. She seems so afraid to open up. I just want them to know that I don't judge them. If it wasn't for the infertility, I may have ended up pregnant myself long before I was ready. I've made plenty of choices that I wish I could change. I pray that I can make their lives better a little bit by sharing these children that we all love.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 9:39 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • We absolutely love her with all our hearts!! We are so happy she is in our lives and hope it stays that way forever!

    Answer by lilsweetpea708 at 12:19 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • My feelings for each is vastly different.

    My 23 yr old - it's been rocky with her mom - who harbors tons of jealousy because as an adult, dd chooses to not want to live the kid of life she had as a child and wants to remain close to us... her family. I feel thankful for her because without her, my dd wouldn't be a part of my life and I feel sad for her because she refuses to make changes and look at things in a better light. Sometimes that stuff is a choice and she always chooses to be the victim. It's unfortunate.

    My 13 yr old - I'm the biomom - lol - she's our biodaughter.

    My 9 yr old fd - I just met them because we just got her - they're interesting.

    My 7 yr old soon to be adopted daughter - bdad is unknown - bmom is in prison for kidnapping dd - she's really messed her up - caused my child a lifetime of wounds that may never heal. I love her because she was their first mom.

    will continue next :)

    Answer by AAAMama at 11:26 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • My 4 yr old - I love her beyond words - the words of a parent are all that can describe how I feel for her. She's my 23 yr old and I love her. There's nothing more or nothing less to say. She's mine. I'm a lucky mom.

    My baby is 10 months old today - she has the same bmom as my 7 yr old - and her bdad, well, he's scary.

    At the end of the day - I'm thankful for our kids other parents. I want them to love them and encourage it. When they miss them, we talk about them (if we're not able to make contact) or I have them draw pictures or write letters. When they express not knowing if it's ok to love both, I reassure them that they'll always love them and it's OK - they SHOULD love them. There are times that's easier to express - especially when the child is angry because of the life they lived together - but we try and help the kids heal.

    My kids mostly were foster care adoptions - NOT DIA, PA or IA.

    Answer by AAAMama at 11:32 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • AAAMama, just wondering - what does PA stand for? I know the other abbreviations.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 2:40 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

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