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how often does your DH come home from work and naps on the couch for hours!

it is so frustrating that my DH will go to work (at a Subway rest as a manager, yea i know, real hard job) for his 6 or 7 hours, and then come home, have a beer, play with the kids for 30 minutes, then is asleep in front of the tv for another hour or 2 while im still struggling to get dinner on the table, feed both kids, do baths, and homework, etc, but he just gets to sleep like i didnt wake up at the same time as him!!! i know what it is like to work, i was a full time student and had a job since i got out of hs, up until i had my second baby 18 months ago. the sahm mom thing is still new to me. how much should i expect to do when he gets home. he gets 2 days off and usually spends those either napping/tv or away all day with his friends. i rarely go out at all except for going to walmart or groc store or in the yard! we live in a small town so there are no mommy meetings or anything!! what can i do im tired of just housewrk

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secondtyme520

Asked by secondtyme520 at 7:46 PM on Dec. 3, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 13 (1,344 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • it is so late when he comes home that he doesnt have time to nap before bed time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:51 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • If I were you - I would set some ground "rules" and boundaries and let him know what your expectations are. He can't really help that he's tired...but he can help around the house more and neglect friends instead of you and the kid(s)..... You've got to talk to him about it....

    I need a heck of alot more sleep than my husband....and part of it was a medical problem (sleep apnea and/or pregnancy...does he snore? If he snores, maybe he has sleep apnea too!). I absolutely HATE that I am tired all the time - it's not as severe as your husband's, but I do wish I didn't need as much rest....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Never for my husband unless he is sick of course. Make a list of chores like if he was 7 and that will be his chores until he can grow up....
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 8:07 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • never and my dh works 13 hrs a day.he dozes off but my dd jumps on him orshe joins him in the nap. if he does falll asleep i wake him up when i need help
    piwife

    Answer by piwife at 10:23 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Never, my husband and i BOTH get our time if and when we need it with each other support, I know it would be a bit different in ym husbands eyes if I were a SAHM but not THAT different as right now he watches our son every monday all day and KNOWS how hard it is to raise a child - I have no answers but no, my husband does not,. but he also WANTS to be a dedicated and involved father
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:37 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Never... when he gets home he plays with my son... but most nights it's just the 2 of them alone... he works during the day, but most of my shifts are evening shifts so he is used to taking care of and interacting with our son when he's done with work.
    AmiJanell

    Answer by AmiJanell at 11:25 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • You need to talk to HIM and discuss what it is you expect of him and what he expects of you. You TWO need to set the definitions of your roles in the family.

    For us, my role is to do the cleaning, laundry, shopping, child care, etc. That is MY role as a stay-at-home-mom. He goes out and works, I work in the house.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:10 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I will never understand people who have kids/enter a relationship without discussing with their partner what each is going to be responsible for...and then complaining later to complete strangers about the way things are.

    You do have to talk to him. TALK. Don't tell him "I expect you to do this", but ask him if he could help with something you need help with.

    Have you asked him, "Would you mind giving the kids a bath tonight, please? I could use a hand."

    If you don't communicate, things are never going to change.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

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