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Is this abuse?

Telling a kid to use his brain, teasing him about peeing the bed, saying come on "your not stupid", "forgetfull joel", when your sis gets bigger she wont act like you. He says them in a passive way but I know it hurts my sons feelings and it pisses me off. we argue about it and he says theres nothing wrong with the things he says. He baiscally hardly praises him, it's put downs. I feel that he will never be good enough for him.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on Dec. 3, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • "PROTECT YOUR CHILD FROM THIS FREAKING MONSTER or tell me who the hell is he so I can give him a piece of my mind. An innocent child is at stake."

    Sure he sounds like an a$$hole, but you don't know from what she said that he's a MONSTER. Yea, it's emotional abuse, and it does need to stop, but it may be something that he can change.

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 8:36 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Yes, that's mental abuse and can be just as damaging to a child in the long-term as can physical abuse.

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 8:07 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • What do I do?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Is that jackass th efather? Your boyfriend? Who the hell is he that is more important to you than your own child?

    He is a freaking bully who is damaging your child's self-esteem and self-worth everyday. Do not mama allow any jackass to abuse your child, What do you do? This is what you do. Get the children out of the house and tell him one more time I hear you denigrating my child and I will kick your ass out of our lives for good, you freaking coward, pick somebody your own size to belittle in order to make your pitiful self feel better. I mean mama, get the claws out, he is just raping him emotionally in your presence. Come on, get some mama bear action going on here. If he is the father tell him either you take some freaking parenting classes to know how badly you are hurting our child or you get the freak out of our lives. My child won't suffer anyu more humilliations from you.

    Answer by bebita at 8:13 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Tell him to knock it off or your leaving and say maybe someday i find a man who will actually act like an adult and treat me and the kids like were suppose to be treated with love and respect LOSER! Or you could say does putting or son down make you feel like a man?!!! GROW UP!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:15 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • My dad treated me similar. I tried SOO hard to make him like me until I hit about 16. Than I really rebelled. I did a lot of stuff I really regret and got into a lot of trouble. I was never going to be good enough for him, so what was the point? I actually enjoyed making him mad, and hurting him. He had been doing it to me for 16yrs.
    I am 26 now and cleaned myself up when I decided to get married and have kids. My dad and I are not close at all. I hardly talk to him and when I do I try to keep it small talk. I don't trust him, I don't depend on him, I don't care. He is not involved in my life or my kids lives.

    Tell your husband he needs to study early childhood psychology. He has ALOT to learn about kids. He should, at the very least, read some good books on the subject. Maybe even take a class at a college. He will regret it if he doesn't change. This is the one and only shot he has at raising his son right.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • OP- i know he doesn't mean it in a abusive way. he is a caring person but he doesn't know how to show his frustrations effectively. My son is not his. He is still learning to be a father and I am going to talk to him about going to some parenting classes together. My son is 9 and I talked to him about it also. I am going to tell him tonight that his choice of words needs to change. If it doesn''t i may leave until he gets the picture.My kids are the most important thing to me, not a man.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I don't know the situation but all I can say is that this man whomever he is is abusing you and your child verbally, emotionally and I bet it will get physical unless you get a back bone.

    No man is worth you hurting your kids. By not defending him and stooping the abuse, you are an enabler and an accessory to a very low crime. The crime: He is killing your child's self-esteem, happiness, trust, joy for life. He is setting him in a path of depression, probably substance abuse. Mama, wake up and see into the future, what are you giving to your child? Would you like him to become this dutch-bag? Are you prepared to see your son treating your grandchild the same way he is been treated? Please tell us you will do something about it. PROTECT YOUR CHILD FROM THIS FREAKING MONSTER or tell me who the hell is he so I can give him a piece of my mind. An innocent child is at stake.

    Answer by bebita at 8:30 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Look, your comment of I know he doesn't mean it in an abusive way is BS. In what place could you say, I didn't mean to kill such and such... It matters not, you go to jail regarldess if you mean it or not. Equally, this jackass is hurting your child regardless if he means it or not. the hurt is there, the abuse is there, the silent witness aka YOU are there too.

    Please no man is worth your relationship with your children. Tell him NO MORE and don't make excuses for his bully behavior he is an adult and your child is not his ginnie picg to make him a better father. Either this jackass clean up his act and start treating your child with respect and decency or he should be gone for ever.

    Answer by bebita at 8:36 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Did someone teach you how to be a mother?...No..I know no one taught me.It just comes naturally.Cant learn it...This is abuse.Mentally. Boys can have low self-esteem,too. Something may be going on deeper, that a 9 year old still wetting the bed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 PM on Dec. 3, 2009