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My dh is a good man, but...

I love my dh. He's a good man and a good husband and a good father. We've been married a long time. But sometimes he hurts my feelings so bad! We went to a Christmas dinner party for his work. I'm friends with a lot of the people he works with and with their spouses. I'd been fighting with my hair getting ready, having a really bad hair day, but I got some complements on it when we were there. After we got home I mentioned to our teenage dd that I got some complements on my hair. She knew that I was fighting with it.

My dh looked at me and asked me if it was one of my friends who said it. I said no, why? He said because if it was, that was the same as a self licking ice cream cone! Like it doesn't count!

I know I'm not pretty. I know he loves me. We have a good marriage overall. But is it so hard to believe that someone might find something to complement me on physically?

Just wanted to vent!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:09 PM on Dec. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • No rude comments please. I feel emotionally kicked enough right now thanks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:10 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • How can you say, I am not pretty? I am sure your very pretty. Everyone has some pretty features inside and out. Maybe your hubbie was just in a bad mood. Sorry your so upset.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Could it be that he is jealous that some else paid attention to you?

    Answer by QandA at 9:26 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Well if it hurt your feelings, then it hurt your feelings. You can't help the way you feel. Men just aren't always sensitive to our feelings.

    Answer by lowencope at 9:26 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • What do you mean you aren't pretty? I'm sure you are! Everyone has their own uniquness about them. Just tell him you like your hair and he doesn't have to!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • maybe he feels that he can joke around with you like that and he doesnt understand that you are feeling down in the dumps on your self esteem. Let him know how you feel

    Answer by shay1130 at 9:35 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • You just didn't marry a softy.

    I'm a very sensitive person and could use a confidence boost now and then, but I know I won't get it from my husband. He hasn't complimented my appearance in over 6 years! We have a good marriage. He is a good husband and good father. He just isn't sensitive and doesn't know how to say the right thing. It used to bother me and I used to try and change him. Now instead I realize he doesn't say the flowery words I want to hear because my husband is a doer, not a talker. He doesn't say "you're beautiful," but he changes our baby's poopy diapers as a favor to me without me asking. He doesn't say "I'm so happy I married you," but he does pump my gas and air up my tires without me ever asking.

    My husband doesn't speak my love language, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't speak a language of love to me every day. I just had to open my eyes to see it.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 9:37 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I'm sorry he hurt your feelings- I think sometimes we all get comfortable with our spouses and say something that we don't even realize is hurtful. Men particularly are prone to this foot in mouth disease, lol, my dh does it from time to time, with no ill intention or hurtful intent at all, just blurts something out- I've learned that he usually doesn't mean it how I took it. Perhaps that's the case here. *and I'm glad you had a good hair day, I haven't had one in about a decade, lol*

    Answer by athenax3 at 9:42 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I'm sorry :(
    I'm sure you looked great :)
    my husband has NEVER (in 18 years) said I looked good- my hair looked good-he liked my outfit-my shoes-my makeup or anything. He is a good guy too, just clueless when it comes to saying something nice like that-or doing anyhting romantic at all. Maybe they all need some lessons on how to make us feel good ;)

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:16 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • i agree qith qanda . and dont worry , youre n ot alone , my dh doenst compliment me and when somone else does , is like he didnt hea anything or that they were lying ! lol

    but oh well ! ur prob right now , is not believing in yourself , when you start to feel pretty , you'll reflect that !

    Answer by happymom1988 at 10:25 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

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