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what to do when your husband is a liar, manipulator, user and momma's boy?

ive recently discovered that he lies about everything, even little white lies that would've been easier and made more sense if the truth was told. his mom is the same way come to find out. he's very manipulative and smooth talking though, therefore everytime we have an argument (and they usually revolve around one big issue that is my dealbreaker) i always drop it and all is forgiven. he has a very weird relationship with her that now makes me uncomfortable. she lies to him about certain things to protect him, things he should know, even though he's a grown, married man who needs to hear the truth sometimes even if it hurts. and he in turn never tells her the truth about anything and glorifies himself so it looks like he's innocent and can never do wrong. i feel like my husband is a child still attached to his mom's tit (sorry for the profanity). how long am i expected to wait around for him to grow up? we have kids also...


Asked by Anonymous at 11:15 PM on Dec. 3, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (11)
  • They don't change dear! They DON'T CHANGE!!!! This is a repeated mistake so many women make: expecting their man will grow up or change after marriage.....

    I run away from Momma's boys as fast as I can........

    Does he seem to not have a conscience sometimes? He may be a narcissist and/or sociopath....

    The answer with these types is always the same: LEAVE HIM NOW! ....But you won' will endure and try and hope that he will change....and ...........he......will not. :(

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 11:40 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • just curious how long you've known he's like this and how long you've been married?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:17 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I'd leave him; I personally would feel I could raise my kids better without having him to deal with or influence my kids in that way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Tried family therapy? I was married to a manipulator. They don't get better without outside help. (and I mean help from a therapist or other 3rd party help) It sounds like he's hurting himself, you and your family. If he won't go see a family therapist, go for yourself.

    I'd also sit him down and tell him you've caught him lying and if he has any respect for himself, you and your relationship he better knock it the hell off.

    But that's JMHO

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • we've been married almost 9 months, i've known him for 6 years but just now finding out he's like this. i mean yea i knew it to some extent before we got married but i thought he'd grow up some after taking the plunge... he's also a soldier and has fought in a war and still acts like this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:19 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • i had one of those. i just had to walk away from it all...its really hard though especially when they are so good at manipulating you and knowing how to get to just have to tell yourself that he is gonna do this and ignore him

    Answer by shay1130 at 11:24 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • chop his weiner off and feed it to the dog

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I had one of those too, I found out he's a sociopath. I agree with the 6th reply.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • my former best friend ended up marrying a sociopath, and he had her so fooled that she wouldn't listen to me when I told her. But the stupid bitch knew that he was hitting on me and trying to get me into bed even though I was/am happily married and he was supposedly friends with my hubby and I, she knew he even forced physical contact on me. But of course with his smooth talking he was able to alter his stories and make himself out to be the good guy and make her think that he actually wanted her. He cheated on her two weeks after he asked her what she wanted for an engagement ring, his first wife divorced him cause he was manipulative and raped her, she knew all of this and married him anyways. I wouldn't be surprised if he is cheating on her now.
    men like that are bad news and they will make your life miserable and he will teach your children those same habits its best to get away from him

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I would say the same thing as some of these ladies, tell him to start growing up and start to change or he can go live with mommy and you can raise the kids, they don't need that in their life

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 1:01 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

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