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Parent/Teacher Conference

I just got home from my DS's Parent/Teacher conferences. His teacher is a young male. I would be shocked if he was much older than 25. He was telling me a lot of things about my kid that I did not agree with. I told him that the reason my very smart son misbehaves is because he does not even try to challenge his students. The teacher fired back saying that most of the misbehavior occurs during writing time, which is his weakest subject. I asked why he wasn't bothering to help my son with writing. The response I got was that he is capable of doing the work, but since writing does not come as easy to him as other things he is not willing to work harder to get it done. (I think this was a round about way of calling my kid lazy.)

Anyway, I think that my kid's issues are not his fault and more that the teacher is too young and inexperienced to know what to do. CONTINUED

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Dec. 3, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (14)
  • Anyway, I asked the teacher how long he has been teaching and how old he is because I was trying to figure out if teacher inexperience was the issue. He refused to answer, saying that it did not have anything to do with the situation. As a public teacher, who I pay the salary for, isn't he REQUIRED to answer or shouldn't he at least out of courtesy to me?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • You probably shouldn't have asked his age, but he should have answered how long he has been teaching. I would discuss your concerns with the principal since Mr. Teacher doesn't seem to care.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I dont think you approched the situation well. You may be right but that was certainly no way to handle it. Have you ever heard you get more bees with honey.

    Not sure what to tell you but I always get the best results by starting softly.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Sounds to me a few deep breaths are in order. I thought the whole point of a parent teacher conference was to give you an idea of things to work with your kid on. As a parent of a 5 year old and a 4 year old in school when the teacher tells me something like this I try to work with my kids. I know it can be frustrating but even if his age is a factor(the teacher) it can't hurt for you to work with your child.
    crazymom21

    Answer by crazymom21 at 11:57 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I agree with crazymom21. Take a deep breath and look at the situation.

    It sounds like the teacher was telling you that your child does not like it when things are hard for him and he is acting out because of it.

    Honestly, I do not think the issue at hand is the teacher's age. I think it is your reluctance to see that your child may be responsible for their actions. The teacher's inexperience may be why you are hearing this from him for the first time. This problem may not be new. Older, more seasoned teachers might have just written this off because they may have sensed they would have an unpleasant battle of their hands if they did and didn't want the drama from you.

    (Sorry to sound judgemental, but you really come off as one of those parents who has difficulty accepting that their baby could possibly be less than perfect.)
    mommyjenny2009

    Answer by mommyjenny2009 at 12:27 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I agree with the others, you didn't handle that very well. No, he doesn't "owe" you those answers to your questions.

    You know your son has trouble with writing. Why is it all on the teacher to help him? You can work with him at home and help him with it, helping it to come easier for your son so he doesn't have to struggle so much which would then help him not to misbehave so much.

    If you feel your son needs more 1-on-1 time with a teacher, then consider either having him evaluated for a learning disability and getting him some therapy of some sort (probably OT since he has difficulty writing...fine motor skill delay) or getting him in a private school with smaller class sizes so the teacher CAN spend more time with ONE particular student.

    Cont...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:44 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • What are you doing at home to support your child's learning? Writing has always been my daughter's weakness. One activity that helped her was writing book reviews and posting them on Amazon.

    The teacher should be your partner in your child's education, not your adversary.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:45 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • cont

    My oldest had a horrible time writing. He also had a SEVERE fine motor skill delay. After 2 years of OT, he's now not fighting it at all. Is that the problem with your son? I have no way of knowing, and I don't mean to imply there it is. But if you really want to help your son, you need to step back and actually LISTEN to what the other people in his life have to say and not jump immediately to denial.

    And I'm still not sure what him being a "young male" has to do with it. That right there makes me think you just don't like the teacher because he's a "he" and/or because he's young. Almost like you went in there on the defensive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:46 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Gee...I had the conference for my son and discovered that while excelling in a multitude of areas, he is a little behind knowing his site words and the "teen" numbers. (kindergarten) I can't imagine jumping on his teacher like that. I asked her what I needed to do, and explained that he did do those things at home so that I was a little confused as to why he didn't do them at school.

    Guess what I found out....it's was "normal" for him to have difficulty in those areas and that a little more reinforcement at home (practice) and showing his skills to others rather than just ME usually helped. She was right too. There's been a huge improvement in the last two weeks.

    I never would have known that if I attacked her with "why aren't you helping him more?" You were off base.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:51 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Yes, run to the principal. Get this teacher FIRED! All he is doing is trying to give you honest feedback and help your son! How TERRIBLE!

    Do you have any substantial proof that the teacher is not challenging your son? Is it possible that the reason your son is not writing is that he could possibly be (GASP) LAZY?

    I had a similar issue with my son. He refused to sit down and work on things that took time at school because he lacked the patience and he was LAZY. I worked out a system with the teacher that any work he did that was unacceptable and not completed to the best of his availability was sent home. I took video games away and made life rather unpleasant until this behavior stopped. His writing grade went from a D+ to a B+ and the teacher thanked me for working WITH her instead of against her.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

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