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MY SON WIL BE 4 MONTHS IN DEC 20TH AND we celebrate christmas the 24 th , this year he was invited to go to a rented salon in a not so well known area (if you live in monmouth county , you will know the reputation that asbury park has )
there would obviously be beer , loud music and a bunch of people that'll be drunk after a few hrs ! i tell my dh to better spend the day with ma parents , lik we do every year , but he says itll be the same boring thing (i agree with him in that part)howevr , i asked him the previous year if he wanted to celebrated by going to a club , anything and he always said no , so he got bored cuz he chose to lol . i do not want to go cuz our ds will be with us , and to me , is not a good enviroment for him to be on , dangerous area , dRunk people , really loud music (i do know that thats what a party has lol) im worry about the safety of my baby but dh doesnt care and he said taht we'll definitely go

Answer Question

Asked by happymom1988 at 11:45 PM on Dec. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 9 (349 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • because he doesnt want to be the only one not going *he is referring to his friends/ and soemwht relatives * but im like "now that we have a small baby , you wnat to go to parties" and i want for my on to be safe and my mind at ease , my dh says he doesnt want to be left out just cuz of the baby , and that other ppl will bring their babies too ! (tehy are not my kids ! sorry if i sound harsh)
    what would you do ?

    i wouldnt mind going if my son was older , but i feel trapped , i want to stay at home and have a small reunion , but my dh isnt taking a different answer than his and he obviously is not caring for our son !

    what would you do in my position ?

    Answer by happymom1988 at 11:48 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • I would tell him that he can go to the party and you will stay home. If you say that he might change his mind. Or he will go and when he sees that you are right he will come home.

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 11:59 PM on Dec. 3, 2009

  • Hmmmm...I wouldn't go either and be at ease to bring a baby that young.

    Is there a way you two can compromise.? Like go to your parents house to celebrate part of the day and if your parents say yes when you asked to watch your ds...go with dh to the party. I would ask way before the 24th to make sure that your parents will watch your ds. Hope that helps. =)

    Answer by starbucks81 at 12:02 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I like starbucks idea, I wouldn't go either and I wouldn't agree to him going without me since you have given him chance when you didn't have DS. Tell him he may just have to suffer and you two can find another time to go out.

    Answer by PsychMommie at 12:35 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I wouldnt take a baby or a child to a party like that. It's not the place for a child. tell dh to go without you, if you don't mind staying home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I would NOT tell him to go without me. We are a family and we stay together. I made that mistake before and I was PISSED!

    MIL had a birthday party in their neighborhood (South Central LA, baby!) and of course it was late, drinking, loud. And they wanted DS to go (6mos). I was against it since it was cold and he was prone to get sick. So I felt guilty (stupid me) and said, I'll go but you stay cuz I only want to make an appearance. Well I was only there an hour and went home and he stayed. Supposedly would be home in an hr. The whole TWO hrs I was waiting at home I was thinking, Gee, wouldn't it be nice if I didn't have a baby to take care and I could enjoy myself at a party!!!

    F$%K that, he has a baby and he's gonna have to WAKE UP and start making decisions for the baby, not just you!
    Sorry, this was a year ago and I'm still bitter, can you tell LOL!

    Answer by Vero0724 at 1:48 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I agree with the bitter mom and the ones who suggest the grandparents babysit so you can be at the party a short while together

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • If you decide not to go and he still goes, make sure you tell him to be extra cautious on the road. Even if he has had nothing to drink, there will be others who have and are driving. Tell him you don't think you could handle being a widowed Mom to a baby that young. After you say that, tell him you aren't putting yourself in danger and you certainly aren't putting your baby in harms way like that, but if he chooses to do so, he's an adult. Hopefully he'll make the right decision. Good luck and let us know what happens.

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 8:00 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

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