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What would you do?

I have decided that my marraige is over. My DH is verbally abusive, spends all of his money on his parents instead of taking care of his wife and kids, and is refusing to help with the bills while he's going on a trip to kenya by himself that we can't afford. He knows it. I gave up on buying a car because we have no savings to speak of and the jerk decided that it's okay to go on the trip for himself anyway. I want to have a roomate relationship until I save up some money and buy a 2500 car and to make a nest egg since I will be by myself and I only get 11.50 an hour. Am I doing the right thing? Or should I get out now? I'm scared of living by myself because I don't have anybody that can help me out if I get into trouble and I don't want myself and my kids to end up homeless. Please help- thanks.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:19 AM on Dec. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I would get out of that relationship, the verbal abuse is bad for you and your children and with the way he is wasting money you all could end up homeless being with him. Do you have close friends of family that you and your children could live with until you can get some savings

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I would do whatever you need to do to survive. If you feel that he's abusive then you should leave your children shouldn't see that but at the same time you need to be financially stable at the least. So i say if you're not scared living there keep his as a roommate until you achieve your goals. If not leave immediately.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:15 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • No matter what he is like, this is the man that you chose to be the father of your children, so I think you owe it to them to do your best to make your marriage work. He does sound a bit selfish, but I doubt that is anything new. There is also the possibility that he has picked up on your distaste for him, and this is his way of punishing you. Men have very deep feelings when it comes to how their wives respect them, but they will very rarely express their hurt. What they will do is get angry and react in ways that are very hurtful to their wives. Your marriage is totally saveable, but it will require a change in your attitude and it will also require your making appeals to him rather than putting him down. Problems in marriage are never 100% to 0% when it comes to blame. Ask yourself how much of the problem is your fault and be willing to accept responsibility for that part. Just doing that will make a big difference.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:08 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Here is how you know when to get out. When you don't care how scary it is on your own. Don't care if he gets everything but the kids and the clothes on your back. When your worst fear is nothing compared to the thought of another minute with him. Cowgirl up, do what you have to do. If you can stick it out with him until you have money fine. If not, I would be packing my shit while someone was in Africa.

    Answer by salexander at 8:01 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • p.s. nannyB he is abusive...she owes him NOTHING!

    Answer by salexander at 8:03 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

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