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help..husband is scaring me...

me and my hubby got into an argument tonight and he said he thought
i should know, if we were to ever split up there is no chance in hell i am getting my kids, he said he will do what ever he has to do before he lets me have them, he even said even if he has to make me dissapear with no trace he will get his kids...should i be worried? it scared me when he said i dont know what to expect. (he also told me if he finds me with a guys number, or name, or if i even have a guy over with his kids and his wife to play with my kids...he will kill us both) i never did anything to make him say this stuff to me, and i never did anything in the past...

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on Dec. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • Um what triggered him off? If you think you should leave do it and take the kids. Go to your family. Then go take out a restraining order. IF he ever emailed you or call you then make sure you have that to show the cops. No offense but your hubby sounds psycho.

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 2:00 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:01 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • he said he was talking to some people and he wouldnt tell me who it was... he said they told him how i was and that i was just with him to get his money and to have someone take care of me and my kids.
    i told him to go ahead and try to play that game. i said "you are NOT getting my kids, if you are going to threatin me with that shit
    what the hell makes you think your going to be near them

    after all that happend tho, i went into the bathroom and sat on the floor and was thinking and crying, he came in and said he wasnt trying to hurt or scare me and that he shouldnt be listening to what other people say... so idk he never acted like that..
    it just really scared me..i love him to death and i honestly dont think he would do something like that.. but i guess i could be wrong.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:07 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • that sounds really creepy, even if it isn't normal for him something is definately up with him. I would prepare yourself to have to leave if need be and if you do have to, restraining order like was mentioned before. And in the mean time talk to him, be as calm and unaccusing as possible, don't yell but feel free to cry, men are usually sweet when you cry but yelling will just rile him up more. See if you can get to the bottom of things and maybe he will even tell you who is source is, it could be someone trying to split up guys up

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • "after all that happend tho, i went into the bathroom and sat on the floor and was thinking and crying, he came in and said he wasnt trying to hurt or scare me and that he shouldnt be listening to what other people say... so idk he never acted like that.."

    You've just described a manipulator. The next step is abuse. I agree with a previous poster.,..GET OUT. Get to a women's shelter, STAT. They can put you in a safe house...and they can let your husband know he needs to get serious help.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:38 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233)

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:27 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • He is emotionally abusing you... He is tearing you down to think that you cannot be without him, and trying to take away your security. IMO, you should leave, or at the very least seek marriage counseling.
    Good luck.

    Answer by emslala at 7:05 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • If this is the first time anything like this has ever happened, I would think that he has either seen or heard something that makes him believe that you are an unfit mother. If he is typically hateful, then it's probably a huge character flaw that you have chosen to overlook until he actually made a verbal threat against you. Either way, I think your marriage needs help. The best place to find it is through counselors who have actually dealt with these kinds of issues and who have seen positive results. I have found those kind of people most readily available through churches, either pastors or lay people who have been through similar experiences and are wanting to help others. I truly hope you find the help your marriage needs.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:57 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I agree witht he ladies who said he is trying to break you down, so you think you do no tdeserve, or can never get anyone as good as him, leave, go to a shelter explain what happened. What if something happened to your kids? Or what if in the middle of the night he took off, witht he kids, you guys are married, it is not considered kidnapping, not if you get legally seperated you can do something about it, get a temp custody order, tell the judge you are scared for you and your kids safety, if that is the case. Men say woman can me maninuplative, men can be worse, and sometime's smarter. Get help. Call DV hotline, go to a meeting, do something positive for YOU! Good luck girl, I am in the same situation you are, so this is coming from experience!

    Answer by Theone3608 at 9:45 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • What is scary is that he is actually spent time thinking about this, even killing you. I'd contact a shelter and make plans to get out. He sounds like he is a dangerous man.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:33 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

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