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Just wanting other opinions..

I was wondering..and this is only my own opinions..I was wondering how many people are actually married before having children? My boyfriend and I (Who I plan on marring) want to TTC..we both agree that having and raising a child is more of a commitment then a marriage. we believe raising that child is for life..a marriage could easily become a divorce. Both of our families disagree with us on this..They believe you should be married before having kids.

So was wondering what other believe.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:20 AM on Dec. 4, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • I'd say wait because most likely if you have kids before you won't get that dream wedding. Kids are expensive and spending tons of money on a wedding probably won't make sense once you have kids. I don't care personally whether a person has kids before married or not, it has always happened throughout time.

    And I didn't take your mention of divorce as a backup plan. It's a reality. something like 50% of marraiges end in divorce.

    Answer by heatheryn at 7:40 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • There are lots of legal reasons to be married. Most importantly, if one of was seriously ill or injured, the other would have no rights regarding hospital visits, treatment, etc. It takes less than an hour to go to City Hall and get married.

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:05 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Ok..sorry I guess I should have added... We both want the big wedding but we would rather have kids NOW..haha! We feel a wedding is important but we dont want a court wedding..and Iv always wanted my dream wedding..and its not a court one..haha

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:10 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • waiting a year or two to have kids wouldnt hurt. and its better to have ur legal rights as a wife before having kids. a lot better. it would look better in front of everyone too at the wedding.

    Answer by fefe87 at 6:55 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I don't care if you marry before having your kids, but I think you need to re evaluate your opinion on marriage, if you look at it so casual as "it could end in divorce" then whyeven bother?! Marriage is for life, "till dealth do us part". Now I konw there are some circumstances where divorce is rational, but it should not be looed at as a back up plan. If you don't love and trust someone enough to believe that you will spend the rest of your life with them then why get married to them in the first place, much less have kids with them.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:55 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I agree with Anon :55. If you don't even know him or trust him well enough to marry him, then you need to reevaluate your stance on having children with this person.

    Answer by emslala at 7:02 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Yes children are for life but marriage should be for life as well.  If you are not committed enough for marriage then IMO you are not committed enough for children.


    Answer by beeky at 7:14 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Thanks for everyone who answered. I never considered a divorce as a back up plan though..and yes I do agree for someone to marry someone without trusting them is stupid and why would tat person have children who you couldnt trust. Im no stupid people..haha. I basically wanted views on how you view people who rather have kids before getting married. I know some people are SO OLD fashion when it comes to that thing.. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby.. But its just seems like in todays world people would rather have kids then be married..or they have the kids and have a small wedding..Like I told my mother..this isnt the 1940's anymore.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:01 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

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