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what would you do if you raised two children from when the youngest was 3 months old, and the mom had left not once, not twice but three times and then comes back thinking nothing is wrong. Do you believe that the children could end up with some psychological issues? Especially if the mom comes back with another baby.

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Asked by momof6_808 at 6:43 AM on Dec. 4, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • yup

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 6:52 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • They sure could, and I would try my best to keep her from getting them.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:56 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Depends on how the situation is handled, and how the guardians act when she comes back. There is no way to know. Her just popping in and, I don't think there would be any psychological issues. Handle it right and they will be just as happy and mentally healthy as any kid to whom that doesn't happen.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:51 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • stay ot of her life. tell her strate up. u dont wont them around thay dont need u. dont come around .dont call..nothing till thay are grown. we dont need your kinda drama.

    Answer by KRIZZ25 at 7:53 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Her just popping in and, I don't think there would be any psychological issues

    yes it nephew is in that exact situation and my sister isn't welcome anymore...he's very upset about his mom being gone...she left almost 2 years ago, don't call to check on him or anything...good deal now b/c he's better off w/o her

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 9:07 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Anon 7:51, How the kids parents handle BM's return cannot irradicate the emotional trauma of their BM's actions. Trauma is psychologically damaging, period. The support of their parents & possibly counselling can help them heal & process what has happened. These children have had two loving parents all this time & that will make a huge difference. You can't un-ring a bell, you can't undo the trauma, but, you can make all the difference in the world by helping them heal. They can be healthy & well adjusted, but, this is no small matter. Abandoment is the core of so many issues. I would find a counsellor that is experienced with children, that can work with you & the kids to find ways of dealing with this. Be there for them, they are so lucky to have you. I'm in the Step Parenting group & there is a section for Custodial step Moms there are more of us in similar situations.

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 9:17 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Cont'd

    But, I'm warning you now, some of the people in there are very anti Step Mom & are convinced that no SM is a mom even in a situtation like yours. If you've got thick enough skin to ignore these posters, you can get a lot of support & helpful infprmation, Good Luck.

    Answer by BubbaLuva at 9:18 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I know that adopted people in general tend to have more psychological problems. And that is with loving, caring, parents and a mom that does not pop in and out of their lives randomly.

    The reason this could be damaging to the children is because she doesn't come back and STAY in their lives. If she did, they'd get to know her as their "bio mom" and learn why she couldn't care for them, and why they live separately, and that she does love them - and have roots. Like an open adoption. But, because she keeps -leaving-, probably after making promises to stay.. the biggest psychological issue that can form is a lack of trust in people. A lack of trust in general can lead to relationship issues, low self-esteem, severe behavioral problems as teenagers, a tendency to abuse drugs or become depressed/anxious. Kids also always ALWAYS blame themselves..

    I think these kids are at very real risk and should be put in counseling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I don't know what I'd do. I just know it's damaging.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

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