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Ended up falling for and making out with the most wonderful soulmate friend connection I've ever had, and now we can't be friends. How do you get over a soulmate?

I'm married and we aren't friends anymore because it was too tempting at the time. Its been 2 years now and I miss her to the core. Not sexually, but the way you'd miss the best friend you've ever had. She was a sister to me. I have had maybe 3 friendships like this in my life and I fear I'll never get that again. Some friends are irreplaceable. How do I get over this?
PS...this isn't about attraction or desire for her. I'm NOW happy in my marriage and wouldn't dream of anything going wrong with it.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Dec. 4, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • So, you made out with your female friend a few years ago & now you miss her terribly? Just trying to get it straight. Send her an email or a letter & tell her how you feel. That is the only way you will be able to begin to fix your friendship with her. It's worth it to me. She could either say she missed you too, or she could say she has moved on & does not want to be friends anymore. But, either way, you will know. And you will begin to heal after you try to make contact. Good luck!
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:43 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I want to make sure I understand your question...Did she move away? And you said you made out with her? Yes you say you are married but could there be a chance you like her more than you say you do bc how you say you are no longer friends bc it was too tempting...I am alittle confused.

    The only thing I can say just start over and make your husband and kids your best friends and go from there. You really don't need outside friends that is what you spouse is for. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • OP here.....Yes samurai you've got it right! It was several years ago. Anon she didn't move away. I let go of the friendship because it was too tempting two years ago to have the relationship while I was married. We had alot going on though.
    I don't agree that you don't need other best friends. My husband needs me to depend on others for connections as well, not just him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I agree OP, having friends is quite a good thing. Girlfriends are a LIFESAVER! And Husbands need their guy friends too! If you think y'all can be just friends with no attraction, then i would go for it. It's not like this person is trying to ruin your marriage, you made a mistake & kissed her, at least that's just as far as it went. Does your husband know what happened, & if he does, is he OK with it? I would just try to make contact, let her know you're not interested in anything beyond a friendly friendship & see if she would like to be friends again. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Good luck!

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:57 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I don't agree that you don't need other best friends. My husband needs me to depend on others for connections as well, not just him.

    I agree- I havn't had a best friend in a LONG time and hubby gts SO annoyed that he is basically all I have...he has a best freind he talks to pretty much every day and I have...this stupid computer.
    As for you missing your friend, I agree with maybe sending her an e-mail or letter or something and see how it goes
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:58 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • OP here...Yeah she wasn't trying to ruin anything at all. It wasn't that kind of thing. Husband knows what happened and he was totally NOT okay with it, lol. He saw it as competition or a threat to our marriage. And at the time he was right. Thats why I let it go...it sure wasn't worth my marriage. But I and my marriage has matured and things are different now. I wouldn't pursue this friendship without first talking to him because that just wouldnt be right. He does know and understand how difficult it is for me to make connections and he understands how great of friends we were. Gosh if I could go back in time! lol
    Chariotsomtimes....my husband feels the same way. He's frustrated that I only depend on him especially since he's outgoing and I'm introverted.
    She's on FB so I probably will send a private message and go from there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I think perhaps you are confused about your sexual orentation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

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