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Why wont my MIL get this through her thick skull???

My husband is being transfered to DC and she doesnt like that because she wont be just a stones throw away anymore. So she keeps telling him to quit his job nad get a new one. She even sends emails and lectures on the phone everyday about him getting a new job and EVERYTIME he says mom I cant if I quit this job and start a new one it would be starting at min wage age and I cant do that with a family to support.
Yet she keeps telling himto quit this job and get a new one.
How many freaking times does she need to be told that that would eb the stupidest thing to do right now??
GAH !
Sorry I just needed to vent I just cant believe she is this thick headed. It is all just because she doesnt want us moving to DC !

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:01 AM on Dec. 4, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Looks like your husband is sticking to his decision and the MIL will just have to get over it. And don't threaten the we will end up living with you because she will probably be delighted to have him in her house. Sounds like she can't let go. Not that I wouldn't miss my child, but I want what is best for my kids. And if they live across the united states then that is that. It is their lives not mine.
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 3:42 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I dunno- but she needs to get over it...maybe tell her if he quits the job-you will end up living WITH her - because getting another job is NOT EASY at the moment
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:04 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • From the MIL perspective (I'm one since August). I would miss my son terribly if he moved far away. BUT I would know that I can visit him and he can visit me. I'd want what's best for him overall. And nothing in this world is permanent......so I wouldn't lose sleep over it.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 10:05 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • you will end up living WITH her -

    LOL That would be the worst thing to tell her. She would say ok come live here then.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:07 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • This isn't a good time to quit any job unless you can upgrade the game and land something better but more secure.

    This is why its so important for moms to learn how to let go the baby strings and let their little ones grow up especially the boys.

    He is a man now with family and well while he has a duty to his mother he also has obligations to his family. She can always call him every day... they can skype and do video cam , they can visit each other.

    Is she going to support his family if he has no income? He has to do what is best for his family and what is fair to his mother so he needs to start brainstorming and figure it out.

    his mother is going to continue wailing about it because well it's her son and she wants him near...

    some mothers love that some don't.

    my mom has three children and we are all miles and miles even oceans apart. LOL.

    shell get used to it
    Aasiyah

    Answer by Aasiyah at 10:07 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • She sounds like a selfish person. Tell her to quite thinking about herself.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:09 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • op how I sympathize with you!!!! only with me it's not my motherinlaw it's my mother!!!! No matter what you say or your husband she will not change at all. Do what I did with my mother - I understand she is controlling but we live our lives the way we need to for our own family. When we don't want to hear her we don't answer the phone or we hang up or we don't visit. Keep chat between you and husband private and disclude her. Visit her don't have her visit you that way you can leave when you want and be gone of her. I don't discuss personal issues at all with my mom anyone - we now get along as long as we do that and I enforce that and walk away, hang up firmly (gotta let dog out etc.) and things are good.

    Don't stress on her. Let her do it for you because it's her additive hobby to do that. Nurture yourself nurture your husband and kids. Live where you need to for your own family. Visit her always, less stress.
    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 10:12 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Is this her only son who lives near her? Is he the only family member she has? Maybe she and he are close but he obviously moved on.

    She needs to realize he has a family now to support, even though I kind of feel sorry for her if any of what I mention above is in her life. Just don't be mean to her consider her feelings and do this slow and slowly she will eventually get it. As a mother it is hard to let your baby go just bc her baby is a grown man doesn't mean her feelings of a mother goes away...cut some slack.
    And as far as you and dh (and the family) do what is best for you guys. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • My parents were upset when we moved from DC to Oregon for my husbands job. I laid out when we would visit (every summer) and when they could come (Christmas) I also let her know we would give it 2 years and then think of moving back (we never did, we moved to CO instead) I think she just wanted to see where she fit in our "new life" and make sure we had a plan to stay close.
    wildboyz1994

    Answer by wildboyz1994 at 10:14 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Is this her only son who lives near her? Is he the only family member she has? Maybe she and he are close but he obviously moved on.

    No she has another son and a daughter that she is closer with. She also has her dad her husband and step children and other grandbabies.
    She just for as long as I have known her loves to control my husband. She has gotten pretty pissy because he doesnt let her do it anymore. He stopped letting her when we got married.
    So she has been pushing even more so.
    She is just not happy unless everythign goes her way.
    She told us to tell his job he wants to go to phoenix because then we can LIVE WITH her MIL
    I was liek seriously?? No I dont think so

    OP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Dec. 4, 2009

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