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Should I let my 15 year old daughter date a 19 year? We live in Md and he lives in Florida where her dad lives.

Long story short my daughter went to visit her dad over the summer and his girlfriend has a 19 year old son. They clicked immediately. Now ever since she has been back home she does nothing but talk to this guy all the time. Tex ting, talking in her room. I have to limit her talking. So now I am the bad guy. Her father is not making a big deal about it. I feel she is not doing anything these days with her life. Any suggestions???

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Asked by redbrightlight at 1:49 PM on Dec. 4, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (26)
  • If it's a long distance relationship it will probably just fizzle out after a while since they are so young. Let it play out and if it lasts too long or things get serious, then start to draw the line.

    Answer by lowencope at 1:53 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • well Of course people always frown on age gapped relationships,If his intentions aren't just sleeping with her then yes I think it's fine,Dating an older guy is kinda something all women should experience whether it goes good or bad you will learn from it.

    Answer by mommy16love at 1:53 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • She's 15 and he's 19? What does a 19 yr old want with a 15 yr old anyway? So what if you look like a bad guy, you are her mom and what you say is what goes. He's four years older than her and it's not appropriate IMO. Tell her NO if you don't like it and if she hates you for it, just know it will pass and there will be many more things for her to hate you for later! lol

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 1:54 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • That in itself the age difference, that is, is not real bad. My own decisions for any of my kids in hs (2 now in 20's and 1 in hs) was/is that only two years above their own age) ... might your ex and his girlfriend marry some day? Then under that circumstance your dd would be dating, very likely sleeping with (sorry but its true), her stepbrother!!!!! Is THAT something your daughter and family could handle? I had a sisterinlaw have a huge wedding in a matter of only three weeks - everyone was totally shocked and unprepared mentally considering their relationship before. And sil was NOT even pregnant - three years later that's been proven although everyone did wonder.

    Think of now and the future for dd considering that dd and 'boyfriend' are already related by their own parents dating, probably heavy duty themselves. jmo lol

    Answer by lfl at 1:56 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • My husband is 4 years older than I am. It's not that much of an age gap. Just because he's "legal" and she's not doesn't necessarily mean that it's inappropriate.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

    Hate to be a prude - but NOOO

    Don't let her date at all. Although I had boyfriends when i was that age. but dating is for mature adults not 15 yr old girls. You're only asking for trouble. let them be friends or what ever

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I agree they will start sleeping together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I agree with the long distance theory however this also depends on how often your daughter visits her dad and how often his girlfriend and her son are around. You can go ahead and TRY to get her to not see him, but it will do no good and cause negative results. Loss of trust, no communication, lying and doing things behind your back. While I have not wanted to hear about some of the things my 18 had done during her high school years it allowed me to know what she was thinking, feeling and going through. It allowed me to calmly discuss different aspects, circumstances and consequences of some of her actions. The only way to prevent teens from doing what we don't want them to do is pray they we have taught them right along with being a good example. Otherwise they are their own person and communication at this point is important. Also try some one on one time with her to build your relationship. I'm not saying be her friend.

    Answer by JoyceTN at 2:05 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Do you really have to ask that question? NO!!

    Yes it's only 4 years difference but this is a 15 year old child has not matured yet who you are asking should she be allowed to date a 19 year old man.

    1) He is an adult and in many states and/or most states can get in trouble for being with a 15 year old.. can you say jail bait?
    First think about your daughter be a mom and just say no.

    Second, what is her fathers thoughts on that he should be putting a bigtime stop to it and tell the 19 year old MAN to stay away from his daughter.

    Third - if things go to far this MAN will be in jeopardy of going to jail.. even if she consents to sex it's still considered statutory rape if she is under 16 and that would mean the 19 year old MAn going to prison and having to register as a sex offender.


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Hell no.

    And she may not visit dad either.... unless dad is on the same page as you.

    And that page is "19 & 15 = molestation punishable by the law"


    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

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