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We are thinking about being foster parents...

Me and my husband have looked into adoption, and have found so few places that don't cost thousands of dollars. Although, we do have money, I don't have 10,000 dollars just lying around. I have been told that I cannot have kids and although, I have an eight year old stepson, I would really love to parent a child that is here more than a couple of days a week. My husband isn't sure about whether foster parenting before adoption is right for us, so I wanted to know if anyone had any advice about it. I've looked so many different things online, but I would really like a real person's perspective on it. Thanks so much!

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:29 PM on Dec. 4, 2009 in Adoption

Answers (7)
  • Foster parenting is in demand. My friend adopted 3 this way, 2 of which were under age 1 under she first meant them. It's much easier & less expensive. Let them know up front if you would prefer to adopt & at what age the children you would like to help. They will work with you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:10 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • In our state (Florida), you can adopt from foster care without being foster parents first.

    Answer by Littlebit722 at 6:40 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • We had no children & decided to adopt. We were going to straight adopt thru foster care, but decided fostering to adopt was right for us. I'd call your local DHS and see when the next classes start. The classes themselves will either prepare you for the foster/adopt OR will tell you quickly whether or not you can handle what's expected of your family. We almost quit after the first class. A real "eye-opener"! We did go back the next week, and every week we struggled to get to the next class emotionally. By the time we "graduated", we thought, "Maybe this isn't for us..." THE NEXT DAY they placed 4 girls in our home for respite care (foster family back-up for rest/emergencies). They were 5 y/o, 28 m/o, 26 m/o, & 12 m/o. We had them 5 days and on 4 hrs notice. We were IN! The children needed us. Even though we wanted to adopt, they had to be somewhere until that happened. We had some leave, we have adopted one. No regrets.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 8:53 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • That would be awesome if you did that! Given that you are caring and loving people. I was in foster care from 11-18 and at 14 had the option to be adopted. I chose not to and went to a family that I still keep in touch with regularly. Foster parenting is awesome when you're really in it for the right reason and not $$$. Not saying that you are. And like I said, I had the option of being adopted by the woman who I was living with at the time. It's also hard because you become attached to the kids. Tough choice but can be ver rewarding. =) Good luck!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:59 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • My sister and her husband is in the foster/adoption program. It can be verry hard because you get attached to these kids and then they are taken away from you. My sisters first placement was with an 8 mos girl who they had for 5 weeks, she went to live with her aunt and uncle, the nect placement was a newborn, the parents fled the country, so things were looking good for her, after 6 monthes the aunt decided to take her. The aunt promised that she would not take her, but then changed her mind, I felt that this was the right thing because she did have baby's 2 brothers. My sister and her husbandwished that she would have let her know so that they wouldn't have gotten their hopes up. They were very heartbroken when she left. My sister now has a brother and sister, the sister is 3 and the brother she was a newborn.. She has had them since the beginning of September. The litlter girl is about to be put up for adoption

    Answer by staceynoel at 9:41 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • This little girl was in a previous foster with an older couple and her baby brother was about to be born, social services want her in a foster/adopt program, so they placed her with my sister after the baby was born. The parents have not shown up at any court hearing since the little girl was in foster care almost a year ago. The grandmother has only seen her once and wanted the newborn, social services said the children must stay together. The next court date to decide if the little girl is up for adoption in on Monday, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that know one shows up again. My sister said if she doesn't get these two then she will not do this program anymore and adopt an older child.

    Answer by staceynoel at 9:47 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • We are foster & foster to adopt parents. It's in high demand & isn't for everyone. Our outlook on it is - when a child reunifies, it can be hard BUT the focus SHOULD be on the child and if their family can heal - then HOW Awesome is that!!? Do we hurt? Of course we do - but we also have a support system & our hearts heal.

    OP are you wanting to FOSTER only or FOSTER ADOPT or ADOPT through foster care?

    What are you husband's reservations?

    There are waiting children in every state's foster program who are legally free for adoption - sibling groups are often difficult to place and also older children, or children with special needs. These kids need homes. They come with some baggage, but if you're meant to the be their family, you'll fight to find healing.

    You can also foster and adopt a chlid who is in your care and doesn't reunify.

    Either way - best of luck - if you have more questions, ask away :)

    Answer by AAAMama at 11:16 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

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