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I sent out an email to my family..... (Don't knwo where to post this)

To my mom, dad, sister, and brother stating that for future christmas's if they could leave me out of the gift exchange, as i have my own family now, which after this christmas will have grown to a family of 4 and i cannot afford to buy gifts for all of them, and for my family too. Thinking that everything will be great, the can still exchange between themselves, since my brother and sister are both single people who have no one to buy gifts for, and my mom and dad who only have their children to buy gifts for. My father called me saying my mom was upset, and that it was extremely rude to send out that email. I just don't see where he is coming from though, and i don't understand why it was a mean thing to do, but in all honesty it was a very serious email. I'm pregnant right now, balling my eyes out over this stupid thing (hormones), and my husband is at work and i have no one to talk to.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Dec. 4, 2009 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I don't think you were rude. I think you should have explained more that you cant afford to buy gifts for everyone in your whole family because you have kids to think of 1st. that you brothers and sisters are single and have more money to spend. that christmas is more about the kids not the adults. BIG HUG
    bluerose26

    Answer by bluerose26 at 3:05 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • that was indeed pretty darn rude. at least when I read that it seems like you have your own family now so you don't want to be bothered by doing holidays with the rest of your family. you just cut your entire family out of your life forever for Christmas. takes a lot of balls to do that. I'd be hurt

    can you not come to a compromise? be in the exchange as a family and not individuals?

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Maybe instead of trying to remove yourself from the gift exchange completely you should suggest drawing names. That way everybody buys for only 1 person. And you can set a speding limit so that you can plan for it. Your mom probably just feels like you are pulling out of the festivities with them, and doesn't really see it as a money issue.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • it's not about spending the time with them, just in respects to the gift exchange i can't afford to buy gifts for 4 additional people anymore now that i have my own family. So i was being rude? I didn't mean for it to come off that way. I'm having a hard time with this..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • i think that is something i would have talked to them about in person not over an email. hopefully you can do that now. talk to them in person, or over phone if it's far away, and tell them where you were coming from. it sounds like you might have made it sound like "this is my family now not you". another idea would be to make them some gifts like a nice scarf but i know yarn costs money too... basically i think the rude part was that you did this in an email. that's so impersonal and htis is your family :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:07 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • You dont see where your dad is coming from???? You basically just told them that they are no longer apart of your family. How do you think you would feel if one of your children sent that to you? i understand the reasoning behind the email, but somthing like that should have been said over a phone call and not an email. You yourself said it was serious and email it not personal at all. I think you need to go at it one Christmas at a time, decide at the right time if you can afford a present to your mother and father dont just cut them off completly now. Yeah I'd be hurt and upset with you too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:09 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I think it's rude the way you said it. You should have called your mom and talked it over. They probably already bought you presents!
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 3:09 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I'm wondering if your parents are more upset by the email. They may feel that something like this should have been conveyed via phone or in person. They may have misread something you stated in the email. Have a talk with them to see why they are so upset. Is it possible to compromise and skip this year and take a wait & see approach for Christmas 2010?
    irishmama1007

    Answer by irishmama1007 at 3:12 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Just let them know that you cant affored it my hubby and i cant either we ended up getting a new car and then the next day found out that we are pregnant and with what were going for i told our family sorry but we cant get everyone a gift so were just going to due all the little kids first and if we have extra money then we will get more but i think kids come first but you should still be with your family


    and i think how they took it was you dont want to be a part of theres sent you got yours now

    i hope everything goes good

    maybe sit down with your mom and say i didnt mean for it to sound the way it came out it just we dont have alot of money to be buying and i want to make sure i have gifts for my kids but i still want to be around you guys just i want to make suremy kids have gifts im sorry if i said it in a way it was hurtful
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • it sounds like you don't want to be with them for the holidays. a phone call or in person would have been a much better decision.

    Come up with inexpensive gifts - a picture frame with a family portrait is inexpensive and really easy to make 4 or 5 of. have the kids make a craft. you DO NOT have to BUY presents you give for christmas.

    hypermamaz

    Answer by hypermamaz at 3:12 PM on Dec. 4, 2009