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Is there a name for this type of person? (my mom is out of control)

My mom is just totally out of control and crazy. I cant put my finger on the name. She called me "Nuts" and "i need a break" because i was trying to explain her why i didnt go into labor with my first DD and why i didnt go past 2-3cm. Because i was not in true labor. Its a long story but the point is i didnt want her to come for the birth of my 3rd baby until he was born. I am having a Home birth with my husband & midwife and yes my kids will be here and it does not bother me. So she told me i am nuts because i explained her very nicely i would like it if she could come after the baby is born. As in i will call her when WE are READY for visitors. She has to fly from LA to Wa State. I dont need added stress or a control freak in my house. I almost cried! im seriously why do you need to call me Nuts and out of control, and i need a break because i wanted to explain why i had that c-section. cont..

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Dec. 4, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (18)
  • and why i couldnt go past 2-3cms at the hospital. i went in because i got very sick from my moms nasty hamburgers and i had diahrreah and vomiting. my water did break but that does not mean its time to push or anything.
    She is always doing this to me. She yelled at me because i wanted to take my first DD to picture people in 2005 for vday pics and told me stop wasting money. Not her money damnit! Yelled at me because i bought a new car seat and stroller my DD needed. Yelled at me in a german mall because she wanted US to take her to every tourist attraction near by after i had my second DD and c-section and my DD was in the NICU because she had a hole in her lung. She is freaking rude, mean and crazy.
    so i told her i am signing out of yahoo and she was the one out of control and i didnt want to see her anymore.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:00 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Maybe your mom isn't capable of giving you practicle advice, so she just yells at you when she thinks you've made a bad decision. In this case I would say some counseling would be useful. You are not a child and she needs to treat you like an adult. btw, why are you doing a natural home birth if you had to have a c-section before? just curious.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 5:06 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Umm... if my mom was like that I'd tell her as nicely as possible to leave me alone for a while. Give me space.

    She sounds like my dad - he thinks he knows everything and gets mad if I don't believe him. Arrogant?? Know-it-all??
    Someone who makes everything about themselves is narcissistic. There is a personality disorder -- narcissistic personality disorder.

    I recommend you join Birth Is Normal -- great group that won't ask silly questions like lowencope.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Because i had a c-section with DD 1. only because my dumb doc thought i was in labor but not progressing when i was not in real labor. it was pre labor. i should of been sent home to labor and relax. but everything was so rushed. im into natural stuff. from eating healthy to homebirths, and birth centers. DD 2 i had a c-section because i was very young at that time too and i didnt know better. i should of let my body do what it is supposed to do. I am having a homebirth now. yes i can have one, its not dangerous and i dont need a ob. i have a wonderful midwife that comes to my house for my prenatal visits every month. i am also using a birthing pool. Yea she does need counseling. i am sorry if i am rude right now. But i need to cool off. i am very mad at her. she stresses me out. this is WHY i want to never live near her. i am sorry if i was rude to you. Please forgive me
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:14 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • ugh...sounds like she is crazy...so she has to fly to get to you? so why not, NOT let her know when your going into labor? or is she coming regardless? not sure what to say if she's coming before you go into labor...perhaps tell her to get a motel room?
    americansugar80

    Answer by americansugar80 at 5:15 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • anon 13.. no offense but i was apart of that grp that made me feel un-welcomed because i had a ultrasound wow yea ok. and i was so torturing my un born child. i had very valid reasons for a ultrasound. my second dd was born with lung problems and she could of died. that was the reason why i choose for a ultrasounds this morning. but in birth is normal i was told i was bad. so i left the group last night.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:16 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I refused to tell my mom until after I gave birth to my third child for the same reason, she would have caused too much stress. I knew my third was my last child and I wanted the experience to be a wonderful one. My mom was pissed when she found out but she got over it. It was my life and my decision. Just relax and enjoy your experience. Let your mom deal with her own issues. If she calls you names tell her to stop or you will hang up the phone. You do not deserve to be treated badly. She'll cut it out if she wants to be a part of your life. Respect is important. I'm sure she demands it of you and she should be willing to respect you as well.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:17 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • OP again. i never said she was coming to get me. I have stated i am having a home birth. she lives in los angeles and i am in wa state. she was going to come after the baby was born to help me around the house just in case and for her to just see my kids and the new baby. We can get along at most times but she does this every so often with me. i wanted her after the baby was born like weeks later. she cant accept it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:18 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • admckenzie- i have done that before. when i was pregnant with my first DD me and her got into big arguments over my husbands money. I had to live with her. we moved out from her house and i cut her off. she still does it. No matter what i say, how nice or rude i am. she still stops talking to me and says sorry because she is being forced. Only to see her grand daughter but who cares about me right? Now with two kids she only again cares to be in good grounds because of them. but she cant get over her wierd ways. she diff has a personality disorder and she says to people Yea yeah because she does not care. she wont go to counseling even if she had money because she does not want someone telling her what to do. she wouldnt do it with me when i was a teen why would she do it now?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • ok, put it like this. ask your mom if she would want you there learing over her while she poops or showers.. if not.. it should make sense to her why you want to be with as few people as possible or even none!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

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