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divorce

I have no idea how to insure I will get soul custody of my son. Does anyone have any tips at all? I wont go for joint custody.
Any tips on this divorce will be appreciated.
Like , should i get a attorney? Do it myself? what i need to make sure he doesnt get custody. How long this will take? Just everything
thank you very very much

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Dec. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You need to have a VERY good reason (and proof) in order for you to get sole custody. If not, you will probably end up with physical custody, but he'll still have visitation rights and such... Sounds in your case, you should definitely consult an attorney.

    Based on this question, I can't really tell you much more.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 6:24 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Get an attorney. The attorney can answer all the rest of your questions...but DO NOT go it alone because you won't win a thing if you do.

    Do you have documentation of abuse, drug use, arrests? Without some kind of situation like this, it will be much harder to get sole custody.

    Length of time depends upon the jurisdiction in which you live.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 6:25 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Get an attorney, a mean one (seriously). File for custody and child support before your husband. He can file for custody and child support from you.

    A lot depends on what state you live in, what judge you get, the specifics of the case, and the ages of the children. It doesn't matter if you 'won't go for' joint custody. You have to go for what the judge or whoever is in charge decides.

    When dealing with court people, mediation people, or anyone in authority act calm and reasonable. Hope he looses his temper and acts crazy.

    Keep your act clean. No drinking or drugs. Smoking has even been used in custody determinations. It would be better to not become sexually involved and not to live with a man.

    Go to google and read about divorce and custody in your state. How long it takes depends on the courts and how difficult you and your husband make it.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 6:25 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Yeah you neet a lawyer and proof of why your x is an unfit parent. You could convince your ex to sign over rights to you and that would probably be the easiest thing, but you may not get child support if you go that route.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 6:42 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Unless he is abusive to the kids, and it's well-documented, it's unlikely you will get sole custody. Get a lawyer.
    mancosmomma

    Answer by mancosmomma at 6:59 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • First see an attorney. You can file for any sort of arrangement but you will need to remember, the judge will look at "what's in the best interests of the children". Make it clear to your attorney what you want. If you seek sole custody, and want him to have visitation, then you will need to set up a schedule for him to see them. Write down everything, questions, needs, wants, etc. Be sure to always remember what ever you do it will affect your children, so keep them in the front of your mind at all times. It's not about you and your ex anymore, it's about doing what's right for your children... GL
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 6:59 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • You can contact your county women's resource center (sometimes the women's shelter) for a list of lawyers who might represent you for free depending on your situation.

    Many counties have the info on divorce on their websites. You may be able to get temporary orders that do certain things like require him to pay for certain utilities or maintain health insurance. Each situation is different. Read through the documents first.

    Do all the research you can on the steps that are required in your state and county. If you end up paying for an attny, that's a long and expensive consult if he/she has to explain to you what you could have read yourself.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 8:05 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • First of all, to make sure you understand the term "sole custody". It does not mean that the child is totally taken out of the other parents life. It is a technical term that means that one "sole" parent gets to make the major (medical, educational) decisions for the child and that parent also has custodial rights, meaning the child lives with you full-time . I have sole custody of my daughter. She still sees her father every other weekend, he still pays support and we have always worked very well with each other (luckily).

    But YES, get a lawyer. Absolutely! They will help protect the best interests of you and your child. The time it takes depends on your state and if your husband fights it. My ex didn't fight it and ours was done in 6 weeks.

    Above all else though just keep the child out of it. Don't bad mouth their father to them, use them as a pawn or they will end up resenting you in the end, not him!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:35 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

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