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Does anyone know how to translate men?.. this is about cheating..

so i caught hubby cheating and he said he wasn't in love with me anymore but he wants to see if he can fall in love with me again. a few days later he says he is in love with me and just thought he wasn't? he realized he still was....does this mean he really wasn't in love or he just needed an excuse to justify his cheating? what do you think?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Dec. 4, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • This is hard because I believe sometimes the fire goes out,and though we can still love someone, that feeling of being INLOVE with them sometimes can feel non existent, it's not an excuse just real life (as hard as it would be if hubby cheated on me,I'd forgive him once) I think everyone deserves a 2nd chance.Take a look at your marriage and do a health check, is the intimacy there? are you giving something for your husband to look forward to,and vice versa? I recommend checking out FIREPROOF (The book) and get a fire back into that marriage.

    Answer by CuteandCurvy at 9:30 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • why do you even care? he cheated on you. leave his ass & find someone who cares if there gonna bring you home std's or hurt your feelings.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:21 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I care because i can forgive and stay with him if he loves me.. But i dont want to be with some one who doesnt.. people make mistakes, but i want to be with someone who is in love with me. maybe that sounds stupid, but i can forgive an affair of the body but not one of the heart. i wish i knew the truth....

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • if he could have sex with another women, hes obviously not in love with you

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 9:25 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • It sounds like he went to an attorney and got an earful about what it'll cost him to divorce you.

    Answer by EireLass at 9:28 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I have to give you props OP. You are really thinking more level headed than most women would on this. I cheated with a woman on my man and after some time we worked things out and have fallen even more in love with each other. I don't know your husband so I don't know what he meant. He could be doing exactly what you said or he could be confused or scared. He could be a lying jerk who will cheat one really knows other than him.
    I honestly can't recommend anything but prayer in this situation. God is what got us to the point we are in now...not depending on ourselves. If you dont' believe in God, I'm not sure what to tell you. I wish the best for you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I would leave him too. Just being honest. I was raised never to chase a man and never to be with someone who doesn't feel lucky to be with me. My father is old fashioned and he basically taught us to have high self esteem. If he cheated once he will do it again. How did you catch him?

    Answer by MLM0503 at 9:34 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • The reason I'm so upfront about it is because I myself have never cheated and I never would.I've had plenty of opportunities also. RIch, poor, you name it. But the thought of cheating never even crossed my mind. So if it's done to me, I honestly believe he doesn't love me and it's his loss. Dont let the door hit ya on the way out! lol

    Answer by MLM0503 at 9:37 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • MLM0503, you make several good points, but let me add this: Why should she be the one who has to leave? I'd show him the door faster than a dog can trot!! Another point I'd like to make--a lot of girls don't have a dad like yours, and you are very fortunate!! As little girls, we develop our self esteem largely in part by the nurturing and encouragement we receive from our dads and/or other male role models in our lives (older brothers, uncles, etc.). We learn how to interact with our male counterparts by interacting with these men and we tend to measure our own worth by the lessons we learn from them in early childhood .
    I have never cheated, and believe that if a man cheats once and you let him slide, he knows he can get away with it, so there's no need to stop, He must realize that he has lost something more precious than gold, and that there is NO going back. JMO but I won't let a man risk my life.(risk of HIV/AIDS!!

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 10:22 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I would not consider that love. I would consider that an excuse for his bad behavior (cheating). He's not respecting you and that is NOT love.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Dec. 4, 2009