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BP What are your true thoughts about your childs AP

Just curious to know


Asked by Anonymous at 10:38 PM on Dec. 4, 2009 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I don't think they're bad people, just scared and are reacting badly on their fear. I have called them names in the heat of my anger towards them for their treatment of me and my other daughter, but over all, I don't think they're bad. They wanted a baby, they got a baby and now want the origin of that baby to disappear so they can pretend to have a normal nuclear family.

    I don't wish them harm, I don't wish them anything negative. I just wish they would accept the fact that that little girl they are raising didn't just fall from the sky. She has a mother and a big sister who think about her constantly and miss her terribly.

    Answer by randi1978 at 12:34 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • This is hard for me to answer. In the beginning I loved them, I looked to his mother as my mother figure. His father I looked up to as my father figure. I thought they were wonderful people, loving, caring, honest, loyal....
    I still think they are good people, and I think as my son is approaching 18 very quickly (March 2010), the past few years have been hard for them. With their struggles during his early teenage years, and now his leaving the nest soon, I think his mother is feeling fear and possibly insecure and maybe saddness that her son is leaving her.

    I get upset sometimes they didn't keep the promises they made me. I believe they love my son, but sometimes I think they are too caught up in him being something great, that they don't really connect with him and have failed him this way.
    I respect them and care for them like family, but the feeling that they are beyond fantastic have subsided over the years.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:04 AM on Dec. 5, 2009


    Answer by CECE09 at 10:06 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Aww wonderful question - I love seeing the geniune insight. Thank you for sharing. :)

    Answer by AAAMama at 11:03 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Until reunion, I knew nothing about my son's adoptive parents and did not have any feelings for them. Since reunion, I have had a chance to meet my son's amom several times and I have deep respect and genuine affection for her. I think she would probably say the same of me. Since we never met until reunion, she neither made, nor broke any promises to me or I might feel differently. She also did a fine job of raising my/our son. Plus, she is secure enough to be supportive of our reunion.

    Answer by Southernroots at 1:28 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I don't know my sons adoptive parents since I am BSE and no reunion but last summer it appears my son was found.He was and is currently deployed.He appears to be happy,successful in his life and well adjusted so for this I am very happy they are good parents.It also seems he doesn't know he is adopted and I find this curious because even in those days the agency emphasized that the children be brought up with the knowledge they had been adopted.I received excellent advice from Birthmoms group last summer to contact the parents first to get first hand knowledge.I will wait till he has been back a couple of months before I write them.As long as my son has had a good life on their part I think they are great.


    Answer by drfink at 1:37 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I have struggled with this a lot lately. My children are currently in the process of being adopted. I was promised a lot by the adoptive mom and since the adoption has started she has stopped everything she agreed on such as pictures, letters, and seeing them, and being a part of their lives. This is the only reason I allowed them to be adopted was because I knew I would be a part of their lives, but now that is not the case. It isnt easy. I thought this lady was a great lady, but she was fake and only said what she said to win me over and it hurts. Some adoptive parents become protective and change their minds on the birth mother and I do not think this is okay.

    Answer by hconte at 1:50 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • This is the thing I do not regret about placing my daughter. I regret placing her (because it wasn't necessary and I didn't give myself enough credit) but I do not regret the family I chose!

    They were and are the most open, non-territorial and loving people in the world and I believe that the relationship I have with my daughter now has a lot to do with this.


    Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 6:46 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • My true thoughts are not very nice at all but mostly of adoptive mother. After being stalked online, having my kept children threatened, being called a babyseller, walking uterus, means to an end, her admitting she's jealous of me being able to give T bio siblings that she can't, her admitting she'd have kids no matter what she had to do including the above mentioned, and just being generally mean, rotten, insensitive, insecure, jealous, and it costing my family $ in lawyer fees to get her to stop....I have no positive words. I'm not even sure my son will come out of the adoption ok after all the things she told me in emails she was going to tell him (lies). I've kept everything, printed it and put in a book for him to see just in case she follows through with telling him all the lies.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • I HATE THEM!!!!! My story is different from most. My mom (aparent) conned me into letting her adopt my daughter at birth. Being single and scared...I agreed...she is my mom whom I should trust. She promised me that she would never take her away from me. 7 years later she took her away from me and her siblings. I can no longer get her back because of all the legalities. My daughter now secretly calls me mom because when she is around her aparents, she is told to deny that I am ber bmom. Since she has been with her aparents, her personality has changed dramatically. She has gained 30lbs. Her aparents still allows visitations, but each visit is like a time bomb waiting to explode. She is so confused, sad, mad, and she doesn't know how to deal with all those emotions so (she has told me this) she cries quietly by herself late at night because she wants to be with me...her real mom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Dec. 8, 2009