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my husband and his ways with the kids

so I am always trying to get my husband to try a diffrent way of parenting he is always spanking out 3 year old son hard but no bruse and I feel so bad I always yell at him and his reply is my way dont work but yet he wont try my way so how does he know I have told him nice to stop and I told him one time I would call the cops and I try to give him advice and his reply is I have been a parent for 3 years jess let me handle this however he has been in iraq and afganistan for 2 of them and I think has no idea what he is doing I have no clue what to do anymore and I really need advice I feel bad for my children and I always feel like I need to protect them from him dont get me wrong I love my husband I just wish he could see that his constent screaming and spanking is hurting everyone around him....please help!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on Dec. 4, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Tell him that if he continues to hit your child hard enough to cause the child pain, you will call his CO. My friend did this with her now ex and he got in a lot of trouble. Tell your hubby that your son will grow to resent him and will not respect him. Spanking causes fear not respect. Suggest family counseling that includes parenting classes. Your husband needs to learn that spanking isn't always appropriate. Don't worry about hurting his feelings or attacking him. That is exactly what he is doing to his child. Your hubby needs to realize that he hasn't been around for 2 years and your son needs to have time to adjust to the fact that there is someone else in the house to parent him now. Just beacuse he is called dad, doesn't mean your child understands that. Good luck,
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:30 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • And yet another Troll... not falling for it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Try time outs. Military men can be hard core and feel like they HAVE to be "men" and so should their kids. Talk to him about it in a calm matter and tell him you want to try time outs instead. Good Luck! AND I DONT THINK YOUR A TROLL :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • what does this mean another troll???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • what does this mean another troll???

    someone posting a question (or answer) just to cause drama
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:51 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • Anon 11:48 A TROLL is a person who posts a question to start trouble, create controversy, or "stir the pot".
    Aprilmorgans

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 11:53 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • I am not trying to cause drama this is a honest question I am trying to get some real advice because what I am doing is not working if u do not like my question plz do not answer it I have been debating on posting this for a while now because I dont want ppl to think of me as a drama/bad parent thank you for being polite
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 PM on Dec. 4, 2009

  • If your way was working, then he wouldn't have to step in and discipline.

    He has his way to discipline and you don't like it. You feel YOUR way is the only right way. You come on here complaining and wanting advice....

    TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND. Have a discussion with him, stop blaming him, stop yelling at him, stop bitching at him. TALK it out!!!!

    What do you want advice on....making your husband change his mind or dealing with your 3 year old?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Since he has been gone a lot, maybe you two just need to sit down and go over what type of discipline you are going to use. Compromise and work together to have a united front when dealing with your child. If you are not on the same page, that can be confusing for the child. Don't attack your husband or make him feel like he is clueless....he obviously cares that your child behaves and my just need a calm conversation to work out a plan with you. Sit down and talk about it after your son goes to bed. Be honest but don't attack him. Good luck and I hope that helps!
    khedy

    Answer by khedy at 10:56 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • anon 9:33 The OP NEVER said her way wasn't working. Her hubby is assuming her way isn't working without even trying anyohter way but hitting and yelling and screaming. She also never said her way was the only right way, but his way causes a lot more damage than physical. Trust me, that is how my parents disciplined and I have NO respect for them because of it. Instead of talking to us and teaching us appropriate behaviors, they spanked, hit, yelled and screamed. When I had my son, I made it perfectly clear how they were to discipline him.

    Really, people read the post ALL THE WAY through before commenting. You would be amazed at what you learn.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:35 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

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