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She doesn't want to spend Christmas with us!

My 7 year old stepdaughter told my husband and I that she doesn't want to wake up at our house (with her father, myself and her 1 year old brother) on Christmas morning, she wants to wake up at her Mom Mom's (his mother.) Do we let her? Or do we force her to be a family with us? Am I wrong in thinking that we should return her gifts that would have been from "Santa?" If she's sleeping at her Mom Mom's, shouldn't her Mom Mom be "Santa?" Or are my hurt feelings and broken heart clouding my judgement and reasoning? I need help!

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:06 AM on Dec. 5, 2009 in Holidays

Answers (20)
  • You are over reacting. Do NOT return the gifts, that would be childish. She can have Santa come to Mom Mom's and then go to your house later and see what Santa left her there. Let her be an excited little girl and do what she wants. Quality time is what is important. It's xmas. Give a little and relax and enjoy waking up with your son and dh then enjoy her when she comes over later.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:10 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Maybe she's feeling left out? Does she live with you 24/7? You said your son is only 1, so this is like a real first Christmas for him (actually knowing something is going on, even if he doesnt know what) and if you've been voicing your excitment, maybe she's picked up on that.

    Have you asked her why? Either way, don't take away her gifts. She's just a child. She probably has no clue she's hurt your feelings. MomMom should probably have one or two gifts from Santa, but they majority should be from you. Your house is her home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • If you do let her, do not return her gifts. Who's mother mother is Mom Mom? (i didn't get that)

    When she's older she'll understand that even though she broke your heart, you still played the role of Santa and bought her presents.

    Do you have a good relationship with your stepdaughter?

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • You should NOT return her gifts. Do you actually need to be reminded that you are the adult and she is the child. I mean REALLY?! She is 7! She wants to go to her grandmother's or her mother's? If it's the grandmother I would make her be with the family (your family) and visit the grandmother on Christmas.

    I hope this is not an example of how you normally treat her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I'm not really allowed to have a relationship with her, his mother (Mom Mom) is pretty much the mother role. Which I can't stand. And no, this is not how I treat her. I want nothing more than to have her be a part of our family...but when everytime I turn around she's saying she doesn't want to live with us, that she wants to live with his mother, it's kinda frustrating. (He had her at a young age and her mother out of state)

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • My parents were divorced when I was 5- I spent every Christmas morning at a different house (sometimes my moms, sometimes my dads- sometimes a grandparents). It would have been very nice if someone would have asked where I wanted to spend the night and wake up even once. Give this little girl a break. She is 7- not you. Don't return her gifts. Her one year old brother won't care if the presents are opened a day or two later.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • i think your husband needs to tell his mother where she needs to stand...he needs to step up and have some control

    Answer by shay1130 at 12:31 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I think that it is a good sign that you care so much about it. I am sorry that she is breaking your heart just try not to take it too personal, after all, she is a kid. She is just going on what she is feeling. Is there any chance that your mother-in-law is trying to keep her (your sd) with her (your MIL)? Maybe there are some dynamics working that you are not aware of. Either way, be the adult (and the good person) and be Santa for her wherever she is. It sounds like she could really use one more loving person in her life. Your husband will be grateful also, and so will your MIL. Merry Christmas!

    Answer by peace1234 at 12:34 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • She is clearly not special to you,if you are so fast to wanna take her stuff back,and this is probably why she dont even want to be with you guys,how can you force her to be a family when your not treating her like she is. i think you are majorly overdoing it.and i think daddy needs to step in and see what his princess needs.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Anon, I think you have it soo wrong. You can't accuse her of that. Shes obviously heartbroken over it!!! I understand exactly where she is coming from and I can totally understand her feelings on the situaion..

    Answer by asalynsedai at 12:42 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

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