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I tried attachment style parenting with my 2 younger children.

And they seem to be super spoiled and they lack respect for my space and time. I can't get the 3 1/2 year old out of our bed, and I can't seem to wean my 18 month old. They are super confident and secure though, but it is killing me. What did I do wrong?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Dec. 5, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • Another troll??

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:40 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • why is she a troll, i have the same issue, just with one child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • She's asking what she did wrong I doubt she's a troll.

    While attachment parenting you still have to make sure you are disciplining. They still need consequences for their actions. If have been co-sleeping you can't expect a 3 yr old to suddenly understand why you no longer want to. And you can't expect for a 3 yr old or 18 month old to "respect your space and time". Attachment parenting or not. I don't understand why so many mothers think 3 is a big kid. 3 is still a small child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:55 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I dont think you did anything wrong. I know what you are talking about too. Up unitl age 5 its normal for the kids to prefer mom. Mine are very similar to what you are describing and I have 4. Of cousre they will grow out of it. Get soe time away from them it seems to help me a lot. have your husband take them somewhere while you take a break at home or leave them home and you go somewhere. this will help them to learn that other people can do it besides mom and that you will always come back. Dont be suprised if they throw a huge fit when you leave it you dont take them with you too. lol and getting away for awhile helps you to stay a good mom, you need to think about yourself too.

    Answer by stickyfingers at 12:59 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I think you're expecting independence too quickly. I wouldn't expect any child to wean at 18 months of their own accord... neither would I expect an 18 month old who wasn't ready to wean, to do it willingly.
    I also have a nearly 4 year old who has co-slept from birth. Just a few months ago he started asking to sleep in his own bed.
    These things will happen in their own time... the trick is that the child has to be ready. You can't force it.
    And 3 year olds still need a great deal of time and attention... like PP said, they're not big kids yet.

    Answer by LeanneC at 3:24 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Ask this question in the Radical Moms group.

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:59 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Attachment parenting is not something you do for a few years in the beginning and then suddenly stop and that sounds like what you are trying to do to me. The kids will back off when they are ready. My 4.5 year old still occasionally sleeps with us when things are stressful and our 2 year old is still nursing and sleeping with us too. There is nothing wrong with it and it is just the normal course of things for most AP parents.

    Answer by aeneva at 10:04 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • bed sleeping is tricky.i was letting John sleep with me when i was breast feeding, but then after that- he slept in his own bed for a long time. now he's back to wanting to sleep with me. I think as long as you teach your children they have their own bed and it's even BETTER than yours, eventually they'll go.
    as for your space and time, why don't you allow a "free time" time and have each child doing something on their own for a few minutes so you can get your space.
    and my suggestion would be- don't always do what your child asks or tells you to. "mom you find the toy". you could say- no, you can find it on your own. i know you can do it.

    good luck!

    Answer by john2007 at 11:22 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

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