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Divorced homes, how does Santa work?

My neices were always so consumed with knowing how Santa found them, will they get gifts at both houses, why do they get the same things, etc. They seemed so worried about the logistics and workings of Santa, it seemed to take the joy out of believing.
DD is getting old enough to start understanding more things and questioning them as well. Bf and I do not generally get along or agree on anything, so I can't really coordinate anything with him which does complicate things.
I was wondering what other people tell their kids about Santa or how they present gifts from Santa when their childs life seems split in two like this.

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Asked by camiam81 at 12:53 AM on Dec. 5, 2009 in Holidays

Level 15 (1,979 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • My daughter get gifts from Santa at our house and her Dad's. We just have always done it that way since our divorce 4 yrs ago. I tell her that Santa brings gifts to children's homes and since she has "two homes" that is why she gets gifts at both. And also I tell her that Santa wants to make sure that both of her parents get to see her open gifts from Santa. It seems to satisfy her and she doesn't ask too many questions.

    Answer by Comfycozy77 at 1:09 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Depending on the age of the child is how I would approach the conversation with the child. It also depends on how mature the parents handle the situation. Christmas should be about the children, and they need to keep that in mind. I would suggest the parents tell the child that Santa knows which house to bring the presents to and will split the presents so that the child can have Christmas with both parents. The parents need to communicate to ensure they do not give the children the exact same gifts.

    Answer by ronjwake at 1:10 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Every situation is different. SS finally stopped believing, but for the last six years Santa has made special stops just for him on days other than Xmas and then again on Xmas and to at least two different homes. I have found the whole thing to be freakin' ridiculous. Santa should come on one day and to one home. After the first year of it DH thought it was retarded as well, but for the kid we kept up the charade. So glad that at 11 he finally knows the truth!

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 2:29 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I agree that Xmas is about the children, the problem is that both parents want to be there and experience Xmas through their children, so then it becomes a circus of multiple Xmases and silly stories about Santa coming here, there, and everywhere for the child. When Santa comes to two homes, IMO, then it is not about the child but about the parents not wanting to miss out. I think that kids would be just as happy knowing that Santa may only come to one home but that the other parent will have some gifts from relatives and mom or dad (whichever the case may be) under the tree at the other home. We would have been happy to do it this way but SS's mom would never have been okay with taking the chance away from her to play Santa. She is the one who would have Santa come a week early to her home if it was our year to have SS on Xmas day. To me, that is not about the kid, it is about the parent.

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 2:33 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Why further split the child's life? Why not just accept the fact that this is the life you chose for your child and yourselves and let Santa come to the home that the kid will be at on Xmas morning? Why must there always be two of everything? Sometimes it just seems to me that a kid would enjoy not having to split everything all the time. kwim?

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 2:36 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Divorce sucks, my parents were married three times each and so was I.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I would do how ComfyCozy does.

    Answer by LadyEb at 11:11 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Santa always dropped presents for my sister and me wherever we were on Christmas. Usually that was at my mom's house, but there was one year when we were with my dad and came home on Christmas day, so we got Santa presents both places. And there was another year when we were at my grandma's house, and we left a note telling Santa where we would be so he could get our presents to the right place, lol.

    Answer by DragonRiderMD at 11:27 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I like the idea of leaving a note. My niece and nephew tend to be visited by Santa at both homes. They're 7 and 9 now, and I think they're spoiled enough that they just expect gifts to be at both homes. Lol. I think that there should be gifts from santa where they wake up, but usually the other parent wants santa to visit their home as well. So, I wouldn't say that Santa ONLY goes to the home they wake up at (As my ex SIL did, and then it hit the roof when there were gifts at their other home later in the day..)

    Answer by sweetphoenix529 at 10:36 AM on Dec. 6, 2009

  • If DH and I were seperated I would just say "Santa visits both houses. Santa wanted you (being our kids) to have a special Christmas with your dad and with me." That way the kids would know that Santa was thinking of them and he wanted them to celebrate the holidays with both parents. DH and I are together, but we do have Christmas at our house and his parent's house. Therefore, the kids will have the same situation when they're older. (They're a year old and a month old now) They'll question how Santa does it, I'm sure. I'll explain the same thing I said before "Santa wanted you to celebrate Christmas with Grandpa and Grandma, as well as Mom and Dad."

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 5:43 PM on Dec. 7, 2009

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