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complaining husband

My husband constantly complains. He sends me text messages complaining about his bad day at work. He always tells me how much this or that hurts. He is just always griping. Its driving me nuts! I have started to ignore it so maybe if I dont acknowledge it then he will stop it. I have talked to him about it several times but its like he has a negative personality and it just comes natural. He complains about not enough sleep or too much sleep, the kids, he hardley ever has anything positive to say. I am more of a positive, encouraging, glass is half full kind of person. Anyone else have this problem and how do you deal with it?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:18 AM on Dec. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I had that problem once...I divorced him :) LOL

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • op here~ seriously considering it

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Well, I had one of those as well...they are self absorbed and it's sad....get rid of him....

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Yup - I would have to divorce him too. In fact, mine is pretty negative too and it drives me INSANE. I look at him and he just looks MISERABLE 80% of the time! He has NO REASON to be unhappy - he gets everything he wants/needs. I have had an incredibly difficult life and used to have every reason to be unhappy but still smiled and continued.... And because my life used to be sooo terrible, I have NO PATIENCE for those who are BLESSED, but cannot see it because they are too busy complaining.... It's annoying to hear him complain about the stupidest things and not do anything to fix it...

    My DH is also on his way out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • op here~ I have also had a very very hard life but I am trying ot get over things and get better. i read many books codependancy no more, boundaries, the bible. I go to counseling, he has not made any appt for himself lately but we are both supposed to be going. He does not really encourage the kids, what they do is never good enough. If I ask his advice he alwys points out something wrong i did first. He has reasons to be unhappy he has arthritis, and everyone knows it because he whines all the time. He is really overweight and complains about his knees hurting but wont lose weight. I mean even complains when I bring healthy food into the house, he says there is nothing to eat. UGH I feel like I cant do anything right. In every picture he looks mad, he has a scowl onhis face all the time. My 7 year ol tries NOT to smile...
    But really could i, should i divorce him over this it seems so small when I am trying to explain

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I wouldn't divorce over this, but that's jmo. It's your life if your not happy you need to do something about it. If you are seriously considering divorce you need to express to him how serious this is to you. I'm sure you told him to knock it off before, but he is a man and sometimes they don't get it. No matter how many times you tell them. I would make sure he knows how it is affecting your relationship with him and the way you see him. Reassure him that you love him and you just want him to be happy and start showing his happiness. Maybe he's depressed. Men sometimes don't reach out for help. He may have a lot hidden underneath and just is afraid of admitting it. It's okay to seek help. I was depressed a few years back and antidepressants really helped me tremendously. I'm 100% better now; maybe you all should look into that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • I am so tired of seeing people automatically saying divorce him. Do you people not know how much damage that can do to children?
    My husband can also be that way and it drives me crazy. It just a difference in personality. Just this morning he was once again complaining about his back hurting, but didn't want to make a Dr appt. I told him either make a Dr appt or stop whining. He really is having back problems, but if you're not going to do anything about it I don't want to hear about it. He went to the Dr. lol I talk to him all the time about his negativity, but in his defense it's part of who he is. It has gotten better, but sadly I sometimes screw that up by being on the defense.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Do you also know how much damage it can cause kids to constantly be around negativity?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • send him naughty texts. Follow through when he gets home. He won't complain long. Plus, it's good for you too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • This is not the only problem I have with him. There has been all kinds of stuff that he has done in our relationship and now I am just to the point where I cant stand it anymore. This is not the deciding factor in our marriage by any means, it is just an annoying thing he does that he really needs help with among the numerous other things...

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 PM on Dec. 5, 2009

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