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How do you cope with your in-laws?

My husband loves his in-laws. (Hehe). And of course I love his in-laws. His parents were never together, though, and he didn't meet his father (who still isn't around much) until he was 18. So I actually get weird stuff from both sides.

My parents are there for us in our journey through parenthood. They help us with small things that we need, and do not butt in unless asked. But his side (and i'm not just talking about his mother and father) likes to make sure we know everyone's opinion, which is usually negative. They like to know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING, and we just don't air our dirty laundry like that. Our business is our business.

We just can't seem to do anything right, according to his family. Again, I love them. I've always kept my mouth shut. But when will it start to directly affect our baby girl? Will she lose respect because mommy and daddy don't stick up for themselves? When is it too much?

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MommyToMarsae

Asked by MommyToMarsae at 1:37 AM on Dec. 5, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • What do I do? Avoid them. If all they are going to be is a negative impact on my life and family, I don't see the need to keep the "rotten tomatoes" around, and when they atart asking why, tell them. If they have a problem with that, oh well. They're obviousy not going to change, so don't go around them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • My in-laws are super negative about things too - - we make a point of telling them about once each visit (they live pretty far, so it's not TOO often, thankfully) that we don't want them talking like that in front of our kids, and also that while their parenting styles worked for them, we will do things how we please. It doesn't stop them, but our kids hear us say something, and then see us acting respectfully (as compared to the in-laws who are all being jerks). Good luck!!!!!!!
    TiffanyMarie80

    Answer by TiffanyMarie80 at 3:12 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • My DH and I have been married for 6 years. I get along with the majority of my in-laws because they live in Mexico..lol. My DH has an aunt that lives forty five minutes away. She does not like me because i am the first to talk back. She is those snooty women that talk trash without being trashy. I ignored her until I had the kids and she started saying that i am a bad parent and that is the reason for my kids being born with disabilities. She was clever, she would not say anything negative to me when my DH was arround until one day, without her knowing that my husband was listening, she talked trash. Now, we limit my contact to emergencies, and holidays only.
    alejandra559

    Answer by alejandra559 at 5:04 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • We have a daughter who in her first marriage lied so much we got to see 1 granddaughter for an hour After that we never got to see our 2 granddaughters He was an officer in military He told us we could not be there when our grandchildren were born
    Did not know about the 2nd one till before she was born So he gets out she leaves him and kids Gets married to a kid on the puter brings him here has a baby No Does not tel us She came here stayed 5 mths slept all day up all night phone and the puter Told her get JOB She told her Dad to get off his duff and get a JOB HE CAN'T VA DISABLE 100% Heart etc. show
    how she loves her dad OH oh PAYDAY, thats when I am sick of raising her all over again she is 40 yrs old get a JOB GET OFF THE BACK IN BED ALL DAY. I kicked her out Nov 03 , 09 and money from family was always paid back on pay day or payment plan set up She got 1500.00 + 1000 since then Not counting what she took
    SkyNap

    Answer by SkyNap at 8:27 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • Well I spent years keeping my mouth shut and putting a smile on my face when my in-laws would stick their nose where it didn't belong or make inappropriate comments. Now, I wish I would have said something from the beginning. We aren't on speaking terms right now because my SO finally said something after we had our son. My whole thing is, you teach people how to treat you and if you don't say something to your in-laws they will never stop doing what they are doing. And if something is your business and you don't want to share it with them tell them it's none of their business, IMO saying that to someone is a quick way to shut them up. Good luck!!
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 10:21 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • A glass or two of wine at night before I go to bed....
    katzmeow726

    Answer by katzmeow726 at 10:29 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • To be honest you dont do anything meaning that dont go around them or talk to them if they bother you simple as that. Sorry if Im so blunt, I have been through this with my husbands step mother and we just dont go over there any more and havent for the past two years. If his dad wants to come over and see his grandson thats fine but none of us will go around her any more including my son cause shes just straight up a bitc* and I dont have to put up with it bottom line. But were talking about a women that hated me and didnt even know me and then tried to approach me the DAY OF MY WEDDING and tell me she was sorry for being so hateful to me but shes a liar she was never sorry and still isnt. So I just let it go and dont worry about it, just go on with your life and dont let it bother you. Im not sure how your husband is but mine stands by me 100% which makes it allot easier, we both want whats best for our child so we put him1s
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 10:37 AM on Dec. 5, 2009

  • In my case we deal with neither his parents or my parents. His mom calls when she needs something and my mom calls when she wants to push or bully someone or start some drama so we stay in our own life and leave them alone.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:23 PM on Dec. 6, 2009

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